Fear Of Rejection

"No" is a word we hear from the youngest of ages. It is something that parents consistently drill into their children. Toddlers and young ones are always told "no", "do not do that", or "Do not touch". This is a part of our culture which has a huge impact on our psyche. It is also on of the most destructive forms of conditioning that people receive.

Many have the fear of rejection. Hearing the word "no" strikes a cord with their esteem. The classic example is the boy who refuses to approach the girl for the date because of the fear that she will say "no". It seems that the fear of rejection is one of the strongest fears there is.

There is one other certainty in life in addition to death and taxes: not everyone is going to like all of your ideas. There is yet to be a salesperson who sold every account called upon. Regardless of how good looking a man is, not every women agreed to go out with him. Rejection is a part of life. There simply are times when people will refuse your offering. Acceptance of this point is crucial to getting ahead.

Here are three ideas for overcoming the fear of rejection:

1. Do not take it personally.

So many think take it personally when someone says "no" to them. Most times, it is not personal. There are usually other things that elicit the answer. It is common for a lack of information/failure to see a benefit to be the cause. In a business setting, for example, one does not see the value of accepting your proposition. It is not personal, just business.

2. Do not tie your esteem to the results you get.

Even is someone tells you "no" in a romantic setting, that does not change the person that you are. If you were a terrific person before, then you still are a terrific person. Who you are is not dependent upon the opinion of others. People with a healthy self esteem know this. Again, rejection is nothing personal even if it seems to be.

3. Understand life is a numbers game.

Everyone gets turned down. Success in life is contingent upon carrying on. Sales trainers teach that each no gets a salesperson one step closer to a yes. This is true in everything. Not everyone will reject your idea (or you). If the first girl turns you down, find another. The same is true for jobs, business ventures, and opportunities. When one fails to pan out, move to the next.

Rejection is not rejection unless you take it to be. Perhaps it simply was a matter of trying to sell snow to an eskimo: the opportunity/timing just was not right. Whatever the reason for the "no", live knowing that you are one-step closer to a "yes". Resist the temptation to allow the fear of failure to stop you.
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