Why The Anger?

Have you ever noticed how people carry around anger with them for years? There are those who want to carry things with them eternally. We see this with political people on television. This also arises when one refers to an ex. It always baffles me how bitter people are even decades later. Makes you wonder if the payoff the person is experiencing is worth the grief it causes.

Why are people so angry? It is crucial to remember that anger is the way that people typically mask fear. When they are angry, they are really covering for a fear they have. Throwing themselves into a stage of rage often is how they believe they are maintaining control. Of course, watch someone in this state and you will see how out-of-control they really are.

Anger comes out in many ways. One of the most common is in the form of negativity. We all have encountered those people who are pessimistic about everything. No matter how things are progressing, they will find the dark cloud. It is as if they go out of their way to find fault with everything.

Naturally, we find these people rarely experience moments of happiness. People who want enjoyment in life choose not to seek all the negative that exists. Here is a simple truth: everyone has bad circumstances. Nobody is exempt from the ups and downs of life. The difference is in how people respond to the situations they encounter.

Take the example of the person who is still sore at an ex-spouse after a decade of more. When is that person going to let it go? The sad truth is probably never (unless he or she is reading this). Holding onto a resentment plants the seeds of death. It is impossible to be happy when one harbors such hatred.

The bottom line is that many people had rotten parents, got into bad marriages, had bosses who were jerks, or were fired through no fault of their own. Get over it. Being angry at something that happened in the past is what children do. Yet, they have the uncanny ability to wipe the slate clean as soon as the next television show comes on. They let bygones be bygones.

Anger only offers the illusion of working. The bottom line is that the one who is angry is the one to suffer. Rarely is the one who is the target of the anger affected. However, the one who chooses to get angry always suffers.

A large part of my journey into growth was to overcome the deep-seeded hatred and anger I had for people and past situations. Certainly I was wronged many times. In fact, there are still circumstances where I get the short-end of the stick without provocation. Yet, at the end of the day, it is not worth getting upset over. My life is within my control. I refuse to allow someone else to occupy too much space in my head. This removes the natural inclination to devise schemes to get revenge. I move on with my life while learning a lesson.

Remember, anger kills.
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Know what you can change

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

-The Serenity Prayer

I am hearing a lot of people focusing on all the negativity surrounding the current economic crisis. There is a lot of fear out there. People are worried about losing their jobs, homes, and savings. Each day seems more bad news. This is compounded by watching the pundits on tv. They tell of how the stimulus package is nothing more than pork and going to kill this country. We hear the reports of 500,000 people laid off each month. And, out retirements are devastated with every market downturn.

So, what is one to do? As the words penned by Reinhold Neibuhr tell us, we need to focus on those things we can change. Most events are out of our control. However, there is action we can take each day which will have a positive impact in our lives. Concentrating our efforts on improving our circumstances make us stronger while giving us more control over our journey.

Let us look at our job as an example. All across the country, companies are laying people off due to economic cutbacks. This decision is out of the hands of most people. However, the idea of making yourself into the most valuable employee is within your grasp. Do all that you can to make it difficult for them to let you go. This is within your control.

Study everything you can about your business. Take night courses which will help you in your career. Accept assignments that other people refuse. Do whatever you can to make yourself the most valuable employee they ever saw.

Approach every area of your life in this manner. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Step up your activity to make yourself better. Learn about investing to increase your chances of success. Study budgeting to learn to stretch your resources further. This is what is going to separate you from everyone else. The majority of people are going to allow the current circumstances eat them alive.

Know what you can change and concentrate on that. Leave those things that are out of your control to the forces of the universe. It is not worth your energy since you cannot change them anyway.

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