Why The Anger?

Have you ever noticed how people carry around anger with them for years? There are those who want to carry things with them eternally. We see this with political people on television. This also arises when one refers to an ex. It always baffles me how bitter people are even decades later. Makes you wonder if the payoff the person is experiencing is worth the grief it causes.

Why are people so angry? It is crucial to remember that anger is the way that people typically mask fear. When they are angry, they are really covering for a fear they have. Throwing themselves into a stage of rage often is how they believe they are maintaining control. Of course, watch someone in this state and you will see how out-of-control they really are.

Anger comes out in many ways. One of the most common is in the form of negativity. We all have encountered those people who are pessimistic about everything. No matter how things are progressing, they will find the dark cloud. It is as if they go out of their way to find fault with everything.

Naturally, we find these people rarely experience moments of happiness. People who want enjoyment in life choose not to seek all the negative that exists. Here is a simple truth: everyone has bad circumstances. Nobody is exempt from the ups and downs of life. The difference is in how people respond to the situations they encounter.

Take the example of the person who is still sore at an ex-spouse after a decade of more. When is that person going to let it go? The sad truth is probably never (unless he or she is reading this). Holding onto a resentment plants the seeds of death. It is impossible to be happy when one harbors such hatred.

The bottom line is that many people had rotten parents, got into bad marriages, had bosses who were jerks, or were fired through no fault of their own. Get over it. Being angry at something that happened in the past is what children do. Yet, they have the uncanny ability to wipe the slate clean as soon as the next television show comes on. They let bygones be bygones.

Anger only offers the illusion of working. The bottom line is that the one who is angry is the one to suffer. Rarely is the one who is the target of the anger affected. However, the one who chooses to get angry always suffers.

A large part of my journey into growth was to overcome the deep-seeded hatred and anger I had for people and past situations. Certainly I was wronged many times. In fact, there are still circumstances where I get the short-end of the stick without provocation. Yet, at the end of the day, it is not worth getting upset over. My life is within my control. I refuse to allow someone else to occupy too much space in my head. This removes the natural inclination to devise schemes to get revenge. I move on with my life while learning a lesson.

Remember, anger kills.
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Use Your Anger

Everyone gets angry periodically. There are simply certain things in life which irritate us. This feeling is magnified when the anger is caused by something we, ourselves, did. In others words, we are peeved at ourselves.

My study of human behavior leads me to believe that people will not make changes until they have felt enough emotional pain. It is sad to say but pain is a better motivator for change than pleasure. People will only take a different path once they suffered enough.

A prime example is the alcoholic. This person's drinking is a problem long before he or she admits it. Others around that person see it. However, the alcoholic will not seek recovery until he or she felt enough pain. Only then will the new path be forged.

That being said, what do you do when you get into those situations where you are upset with yourself? Most, I found, waste this opportunity for success. Instead, they allow it to pass without taking advantage of the pain they experience.

Anger can be a wonderful motivator because it is such a powerful emotion. This power can drive us to reach new heights if we use if for productive purposes. Using our anger is what allows us to harness it's power. This turns it into something productive.

So, how can we use the anger which is directed at ourselves? Ideally, we want to make this the motivating force behind us forging a new path. We all need to get to the point where we say "enough".

The next time you are beating yourself up over something you did (or did not do), use your anger to your advantage. Resolve in that moment to never let that happen again. Whatever your shortcoming was in that situation, take every action to ensure things turn out differently in the future. There is a lesson in everything. Learn whatever the circumstances are presenting and be motivated to alter your behavior. This is how you create a positive out of a negative.
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