Why The Anger?

Have you ever noticed how people carry around anger with them for years? There are those who want to carry things with them eternally. We see this with political people on television. This also arises when one refers to an ex. It always baffles me how bitter people are even decades later. Makes you wonder if the payoff the person is experiencing is worth the grief it causes.

Why are people so angry? It is crucial to remember that anger is the way that people typically mask fear. When they are angry, they are really covering for a fear they have. Throwing themselves into a stage of rage often is how they believe they are maintaining control. Of course, watch someone in this state and you will see how out-of-control they really are.

Anger comes out in many ways. One of the most common is in the form of negativity. We all have encountered those people who are pessimistic about everything. No matter how things are progressing, they will find the dark cloud. It is as if they go out of their way to find fault with everything.

Naturally, we find these people rarely experience moments of happiness. People who want enjoyment in life choose not to seek all the negative that exists. Here is a simple truth: everyone has bad circumstances. Nobody is exempt from the ups and downs of life. The difference is in how people respond to the situations they encounter.

Take the example of the person who is still sore at an ex-spouse after a decade of more. When is that person going to let it go? The sad truth is probably never (unless he or she is reading this). Holding onto a resentment plants the seeds of death. It is impossible to be happy when one harbors such hatred.

The bottom line is that many people had rotten parents, got into bad marriages, had bosses who were jerks, or were fired through no fault of their own. Get over it. Being angry at something that happened in the past is what children do. Yet, they have the uncanny ability to wipe the slate clean as soon as the next television show comes on. They let bygones be bygones.

Anger only offers the illusion of working. The bottom line is that the one who is angry is the one to suffer. Rarely is the one who is the target of the anger affected. However, the one who chooses to get angry always suffers.

A large part of my journey into growth was to overcome the deep-seeded hatred and anger I had for people and past situations. Certainly I was wronged many times. In fact, there are still circumstances where I get the short-end of the stick without provocation. Yet, at the end of the day, it is not worth getting upset over. My life is within my control. I refuse to allow someone else to occupy too much space in my head. This removes the natural inclination to devise schemes to get revenge. I move on with my life while learning a lesson.

Remember, anger kills.
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Other Cultures

I like to write about mindset on this blog. One of my favorite pastimes is to learn/study different cultures of the world. It is amazing how much you can learn from this practice.

There is a large world out there. Too often, we get so focused upon our own "little world" that we see in front of us. Realizing that there is so much more removes the mental limitation we often put upon ourselves.

When I read about "far away lands" I find that my mind wanders. The dreaming mechanism is instantly awakened. What would it be like to live in that area for a summer? How would my life differ in that culture? What can I take from them and bring into my daily life? These are all things which run through my mind.

Other cultures make us appreciate our own. Gratitude is a basic component of those who experience regular happiness. There are many cultures we can look at and feel a longing. Nevertheless, there are also many which make us grateful that we grew up in the one we did. For example, study the daily life in Cuba or China the last 40 or 50 years. This will lead to a sense of gratitude for being part of the Western world.

Life is about expanding our horizons. Everyone needs to think on a larger scale. Look at the ways other people live and contrast that with your life. Are there things that you can learn from them? Consider this point as you are reading. It will be to your benefit.
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Teflon Insides

John Gotti, the head of the Gambino crime family, was known as the Teflon Don because none of the first few indictments against him stuck. In other words, the charges of the prosecution bounced off him.

This brings me to today's lesson. Do you have teflon insides or do you let things get to you? This is a very important question pertaining to emotional stability. Your answer shows how you are able to handle things.

People who have emotional control have things "roll off their back". It seems like they are immune to criticism. They simply do not take things to heart. Accusations or insults levied against them bounce off like that person is made of Teflon. Again, nothing sticks to them.

The truth is that people can only hurt you as much as you allow them. Nothing can affect you other than those things you choose to allow to affect you. This is a difficult concept for many to understand since they are slaves to their emotions. People who utilize their personal power are in charge of their lives. This includes being in control of their emotions.

Try not to take things personally. Remember that everyone has an opinion (and they all stink). What others think is of little importance in most instances. There are only a few people in our lives who's opinions are important. The rest can go fly a kite.

Take control of your emotions and lay the foundation for a successful life.
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The Growth Is In The Pain

Most people will do anything to avoid pain. It is something that we are taught to avoid. However, the successful are those who embrace pain and what it does for them. Pain is the one thing that yields significant results: growth.

I like the analogy of working out. Those who see the results from exercise are the ones who push themselves far enough to suffer a bit of pain. "No pain, No gain" is the motto. Also, the best results come from going a bit further. Doing just one more set is what gives the greatest growth.

How often do you push yourself to do "one more" in your daily life? Do you look for opportunities to step out of your comfort zone so that you can grow? If you are like most people, this is something that you avoid. Of course, be kind to yourself; it is what you were taught to do.

Let us look at a simple example. How did you learn to ride a bike? Most of us got on the bike after the training wheels were removed and rode a short distant before falling down. If we were fortunate, we might of had a parent steadying the bike as we went. However, the end result was that we fell, repeatedly. Naturally, those of us who ride a bike got back on. We stuck with it even though we suffered a bit of pain in the process. In the end, we succeeded because we endured what life served us.

So, I implore you to look for those times when you can get a bit of pain. Go deep into the situation to strengthen yourself. Growth is the mechanism which allows us to handle things further along on our journey. Do not pass the opportunity to make your life easier by doing something that is a challenge today.

Remember, your growth is found in the pain.
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Opportunities In Chaos

The world is coming to an end. This is the impression that we are given by the media. Each day, the market drops another astronomical number. At the same time, the government commits another $100 Billion to alleviate the recession. It seems that there is bad news on every front.

Recently, I was discussing the business climate with a friend of mine. He was telling me that his company is in position to grow next year. This was an astounding statement to me considering that the company is over 40 years old in an industry that most consider to be mature. For anyone to have growth in this environment, let alone double digit which my friend claims, astounded me. Of course, I asked him to explain how.

To begin with, this company is debt free. It owes money to nobody. The banking crisis is entirely a situation that revolves around debt. Nobody was upset with Lehman Brothers sales or revenues. It was their debt that caused the panic. Being debt free is a ticket to success in this environment.

The debt issue is affecting a number of his competitors. Many of them are starting to fold. This is a situation that is also starting to play out in the automobile industry. The largest Chevrolet dealership in the United States closed their doors. My friend mentioned how his industry became too saturated the last 5 years. Now, there is a thinning of the competition.

Finally, there is consolidation occurring within his industry. A number of the national companies were bought out by manufacturers. This is reducing the number of companies in each market. Recently, the largest dealer was purchased by a manufacturer, a move that will eliminate one in each area. This is the second time this year, and the third in the last two, that this occurred. My friend mentioned how three big competitors were eliminated through this process.

How does this apply to you? I write this to show you there are opportunities regardless of what is occurring. In fact, the more upheaval, the greater the potential for one who is looking. Warren Buffet bought into GE for a song because they were desperate. The financial chaos presented him with a buying opportunity. Therefore, stop fretting about how bad things are and getting creative. There is a silver lining in all that is going on if you are willing to seek it out. Those who do stand to profit substantially.
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10 Killers To Personal Development

Here are the 10 most common killers to personal development.

1. Being a ‘know-it-all’: It is always interesting to see someone who wants to make a change because the results that they are presently receiving are causing them pain. They are not successful doing what they are doing. However, when suggestions are offered they immediately discount them. They say something like “I already know that” or “I agree with you but ….” They simply are cannot be taught anything. The mind is closed off from any new information. This type of person knows it all.

2. Switching Programs: There are many wonderful teachers and coaches out there. They often have a curriculum of success that they teach. There is a linear path they take people down on the road to achieving the results that are desired. However, switching from teacher-to-teacher usually only leads to confusion while reducing the results attained. For example, there are programs that show people how to pick winning stocks using fundamental analysis. There are also ones that teach about technical analysis. For either will yield tremendous benefits (assuming the program is a good one). However, if one tries to switch back and forth, the stocks they pick will likely fail to deliver the results desired. Choose one curriculum that suits you and stick with it.

3. Failing to believe this stuff works: The self improvement industry often gets a bad rap from people. Sure there are individuals who are promoting things that do not work. Unethical people exist in every spectrum. However, the bottom line is that millions of people have changed their lives completely by implementing the teaching of personal development experts. However, if you believe that none of it works, that is a guarantee that it will not.

4. Lacking the commitment to change: Many have the desire to change certain aspects of their lives. Yet most do not have the overwhelming commitment to do anything about it. It is like the alcoholic who knows that he has a problem yet continues drinking anyway. He might want to stop but his actions tell another story. If you hope, wish, want, pray, or think you want to change something, the odds are that everything will remain the same. When you are committed to changing something, the chances increase substantially that you will make it happen.

5. Lacking consistency: Habits are like muscles. They get more powerful the more we work them out. To develop good habits, it is imperative that we attend to them on a regular basis. Attempting to follow a self help program for a few days then setting it aside for 3 months will do little to change anything. Personal growth is a full-time practice. Developing the qualities that we desire and make us successful are gained through repetition. Over time, we get better at anything we put consistent effort in to. Treat you personal development the same way that a top athlete treats his or her exercise program.

6. Blaming others: There are times when you will encounter challenges along the way. Old behaviors can be extremely difficult to change. Sometimes we get frustrated at the progress we are making. However, our egos will not allow us to take responsibility for what is occurring. This is when the tendency to blame others just up. We believe that we would succeed if only “our _________ would have been supportive” or “if I didn’t have to do ________”. The excuses that arise will be many. Resist this temptation since your life is your responsibility. If there is something that is not working for you, make the necessary changes to get yourself on the proper path.

7. Failing to take action: Improvement is an action business. It does not occur by reading a book, listening to audio programs, or going to classes. These sources provide us with the valuable information. However, for anything to be effective, it must be put into use. Life is a contact sport. It involves action. To grow, we must have the willingness to do what we are taught. Gaining information is imperative at the beginning yet we encounter a time when the “book learning” ceases. Studying weightlifting will do nothing unless we actually get into the gym. Act upon the information you learn.

8. Quitting: We live in a world that is conditioned for instant gratification. The desire is to do something once and receive all the benefits of one who has worked at it for decades. The habits and traits that are present within us now took a long time to develop. It took decades for you to become the person that you are. Do not expect everything to change overnight. Be persistent in your pursuit of improvement. It will come with continued effort and attention. However, giving up is a guarantee that nothing will be different.

9. Hanging out with bad influences: Hang out in a barber shop and sooner or later you will get a haircut. We are product of our environments. The influences that others have upon us in shaping the people we become are incredible. If you take the necessary action to change something about your life, do not sabotage your efforts be interacting with people who are exactly like what you are attempting to alter. Studies have shown that people’s income is within a few thousand dollars of the average of the 10 people that they spend the most time with. If you desire more money, hang out with a higher class of people.

10. Allowing negativity to make decisions: Self improvement is centers largely in the mind. Like anything, there are challenges along the way. Life circumstances are present regardless of what we are doing to grow. It is easy to allow the negative self talk to hinder our progress. When you find yourself in this situation, do not believe what your mind is telling you. It is the greatest liar in the world. The mind strives for one thing, certainty. It abhors uncertainty. Change creates a situation where the mind is uncertain. To combat this, it will tell you anything that will prevent you from moving forward. Hence all the negative ideas which pop into your head. Resist the tendency to make decisions based upon this negative information. Show some perseverance while trudging forward.

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20 Ideas I Wish I Knew When I Was 20

Success seems to be an elusive treasure for many. There are some many ways to attain it yet most of us get caught up trying to figure it all out ourselves. This leads to a great deal of lost time to gain the "experience" needed to be successful. Looking back, I wish someone had put together a list of hard facts that were true in life. Since it was not done for me, I would like to share my list of success "truths".

1. Success is easier with a team:

Success is not created in a vacuum. It takes the efforts of many people to make one achieve anything great. The most successful people have partners, coaches, teammates, and co-workers who all have a hand in the final outcome. Also, our the level of success that is possible increase substantially when we enlist the abilities and efforts of others. As Marc Victor Hanson likes to say "one plus one is an eleven folding of talent". Create a team with the best people that you can.

2. Opportunities are everywhere:

Everywhere there is a problem, there is an opportunity. The world is full of challenges that are waiting to be solved. As we proceed forward, now obstacles are created daily. Huge fortunes are being made by people taking the initiative to solve these problems. Society needs someone to build a better "mousetrap" and that person is you. Look for the opportunities in your life that are offered to you.

3. You get more in life by saying "yes" than by saying "no":

This is one of Richard Branson's sayings. Fear is a powerful influence in life. It causes us to make decisions that are not always in our best interest. Often we turn down opportunities which will raise our lives to a new level. Saying "yes" to life allows us to engage in the wonders of it. There is more that is gained by going forward then by standing still. Certainly we will lose at times. But overcoming the fear of loss is what will set us free. Begin to say "yes" to the opportunities that are presented in your life.

4. Like attracts like:

Physics talks about energy on the same frequency being attracted to similar energy. This is true for our outlook. Positive attitudes garner positive results. Negative attitudes create gets the same outcome. To get more positive results in life, spend more time with a positive attitude. This will attract the desired results into your life.

5. The path to success is already laid out:

Reinventing the wheel is a waste of time. Unlike we were taught in school, copying is a good thing. People have already paved the road to success. Simply learn the actions and procedures they took while following suit. Every industry has a model that sets the process for achievement. Life becomes much simpler when that is uncovered.

6. Have fun:

It is easy to get caught up in all that we have to do. Responsibilities mount the more success we achieve. It is important to have fun at every stage of life. Too often people delay their joy until they arrive at a specific destination. Taking the time for ourselves is crucial as holistic selves. Lighten up and take things a little less seriously.

7. Work smarter, not harder:

Digging ditches is hard work yet it is not a well compensated trade. The world pays more for mental power than it does physical. Try to determine ways to systematize the things you need to do to free up yourself. The nobility is in working smarter, not harder.

8. Things do not equal happiness:

The richest are not always the happiest. The accumulation of things is wonderful. However, it is imperative that we keep in mind what is important. The happiness that "things" give us is temporary. Happiness is a state that comes from within us; it rarely comes from the outside.

9. Who cares about the Joneses:

How much time do we spend trying to "keep up with the Joneses"? Our egos are often tied to the opinion of others. Be your own person. Ignore what others think about you. It is best to pursue endeavors which fulfill us. Too many attend to those things that other people want them to. Live your life according to how you see fit.

10. There is always something to be grateful for:

No matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something to be grateful for. Gratitude is a wonderful tool for getting us out of the doldrums. Looking at the positive aspect of situations will always help bring the undesirable effects to an end quicker. Remember, there is always someone else who is worse off than you.

11. Everyone has their time in the "barrel":

To listen to people talk, you would think that they were the only ones with problems. The truth is that everyone has circumstances which they go through that are not pleasant. Illness, financial difficulty, and death affect most people at different stages of their lives. Resist the temptation to think that you are special in this regard. When negative circumstances arise, move forward knowing others are succeeding in dealing with similar issues.

12. Plan you life and live you plan:

I love the analogy to taking a trip across country without a road map. This is something that most would never consider doing. Yet almost all will approach their life without a forethought to where they would like to go. In fact, people spend more time planning their vacations than they do to plan their lives. Studies have shown that individuals who set down goals with a written plan for their achievement attain a far greater degree of success than those who fail to do so.

13. Failure is our best teacher:

Failure is a tough thing to go through. However, it can be our most beneficial experience. Successful people all seem to have had their share of failures. It is the lessons from these situation which makes them so valuable. Take the time to analyze why things turned out how they did and resolve not to make the same mistake. This is where life prepares us for the next challenge.

14. Most people are willing to help:

We feel we need to do it all on our own. This stems from the belief that most people don't care. The truth is that most people are willing to help wherever they can. People, at their basic core, are nice. They want to contribute. It makes us feel good to help another. Rid yourself of the desire to do it all on your own and ask others for help. You will be surprised at the warm response you get.

15. The starting point is irrelevant:

There are hundreds of stories of people who started from the worst circumstances only to achieve greatness. Individuals who blame their surroundings for their lack of success are using this as a crutch. There are opportunities in all areas of life for those who are willing to go after them. It is where you are going that is important, not where you start from.

16. Everything starts as a thought:

There is nothing that mankind has made in this world that did not start as an idea in someone's head. Everyday, we each have ideas which are mostly dismissed. Capturing one of those ideas can change how the world operates. Also, having the right mindset will do more to ensure our success than any other attribute. Pay attention to what takes place within your own head.

17. We all have more talents than we can uncover:

Everyone on this planet is created with an incredible amount of ability. Yet we often believe that we "can't do anything right". This is negative conditioning allowed to ruin our lives. There is an unbelievable skill within you at this present moment. Beginning to say "yes" to opportunities in life will uncover what those talents are. Often we do not realize what we are capable of until we are forced into a tough situation.

18. Everything is perspective:

Even though you will swear it to be the truth, it is really only your perspective. Our viewpoint is usually what determines how we process things. Is the glass half full or half empty? Both answers are correct, depending on your perspective. Remember this whenever you are determined to make yourself right and someone else wrong.

19. Tap into your true self:

Some call it passion, others life purpose. Whatever the term, there is something in life that only you can perform. Spend some time seeking out what it is. All greatness comes from this place. Do not worry about the financial compensation. People who tap into their true essence while releasing their talents on the world are well paid. Find out what it is and follow it.

20. You can make a huge difference:

There is no limit to the impact that you can have. Many of the greatest figures in history were from the humblest of beginnings. They were average people who took extraordinary action when called upon. You can do the same thing. The ideas that you have right now can impact thousands, if not, millions of lives. Begin to accept this as your reality.

Here is the list of ideas which I feel will lead anyone to success. See how many you can implement into your life on a daily basis. People who have done so report an incredible increase in their success, happiness, productivity, and freedom.

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