The Desire To Improve

Have you ever thought about what it takes to change? What is it that makes one change successful while another is a miserable failure? How can some people lose 100+ pounds while others cannot get even 20 pounds off? The answer is that it all starts with desire.

12 Step Programs

12 Step programs all across the nature understand this concept. Whether one is talking about addiction to alcohol, drugs, sex, food, or gambling, the effectiveness of these programs revolves around what they term "willingness". The theory is that one will only begin to recover after being yielded willing by whatever the vice is. In other words, did the person receive enough pain to have reached a "bottom".

Obviously this is a personal matter. But, if we translate it to each of us even if not an addicted person, we can see the merits. Why does one lose weight while another fails to do so? Simply, the one who succeeded had the internal desire to achieve the outcome sought. He or she was tired of being the other way. It is only after reaching this point that one can begin the process of change.

Of course, this would also explain why people start yet fail. Perhaps it is a simple as they were not ready. Again, going back to the lessons taught by our addiction therapists, many enter rehab or a 12 step program only to experience a slip backwards. Experts will say the reasoning is the person "simply was not ready to give it up". This lack of willingness led to the downfall.

Again we can bring this same analogy across to whatever behavior we want to focus upon. The only reason why change does not take root is one is attempting something before he or she is ready. There is no other reason for the failure. If this person suffered enough pain through the process of remaining the same, change would be instant. Everything would fall into place ensuring success. Sadly, few, as shown by addicts, ever get to this point.

Increase The Pain

Often the activity we are engaging upon does not have immediate negative results. Taking smoking as an example. Nobody picks up a cigarette for the first time, takes a couple of drags, and drops over dead (unless he or she has an asthma attack). However, we know that long term cigarette use has deadly effects upon the individual. The pain is not immediate but, rather, long term in nature.

Much like the frog in the boiling water, when pain is not immediate and intense, it fails to motivate. If you dont know this story, a frog will literally sit in boiling water and die if you put it in when it is cool and slowly increase the temperature. Drop the frog into water that is already boiling and it will jump out. Nevertheless, a slow increase in temperature is not even notice until it is too late. This parallels how we are as humans.

Thus, we need to increase the pain as quickly as possible. Using the smoking as an example, we know that therapists and counselors have used tactics such as showing pictures of black lung to emphasize the pain in the moment. This helps to bring the future pain to the present moment. Spending time with people who suffer from lung cancer is another "scare" tactic employed to reach the desired end.

Anything that helps one to experience more pain will assist in getting the person to make lasting change. Remember, no pain, no gain. One will not stick with something if it is easier to remain the same. This is true for all change.

Pain versus Pleasure

Which brings us to the final point. Why do we not just increase the pleasure associated with the desired outcome and use that as motivation? Simple. Because that is a failing strategy. Many people have employed that tactic without success. Of course it is easy to picture oneself nice and slim with a fantastic figure. Carrying that mental image is helpful but I would venture to say few who suffer from obesity are motivate much by that. The reason I say this is because they had that image in their head for years and look at the result. It is only after experiencing enough pain that one will take the action necessary for change.

We like to think that we do things for proactive reasons. Sadly, that does not appear to the be human condition. Most people will do a helluva lot more to avoid pain than they will to gain some pleasure. Every Monday, millions of people show up at work because they want to avoid the dreaded situation of having no money to pay their bills. Few will leave a position to pursue something that excites them and instills passion. Instead, they remain locked into a career because the pain of leaving is too difficult. Pleasure is available but pain is the motivator.

Hence, if you are faced with making a change, ramp up the pain factor tenfold. Use whatever mental/psychological tactics necessary to do this. Pain is a tremendous ally. This is what provides us with the desire to improve. Remember, lasting change only occurs after one reaches the point where changing is less painful than remaining the same. Thus, your challenge is to generate enough pain in not changing so that changing is much more attractive. Once this is accomplished, then you will see radical improvement.
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Change

Change is something that always happens in a moment. Unfortunately, it often takes a long time to get to the moment. People will hold onto old behavior until it reaches the point where change must occur. Until this moment arrives, the same pattern follows.

Pain is the most powerful motivator in life. There are two states: pleasure and pain. However, when it comes to altering behavior, pain is the state which will cause one to alter actions. As much as we like to believe we do things for proactive reasons, the truth is that to make it lasting, pain needs to be involved to the nth degree.

Losing weight is a prime example. It is no secret that eating junk food, not exercising, and carrying around rolls of fat will shorten one's life expectancy. The medical community has warned about this for decades. In fact, it is not uncommon to see people working in this field, those who should be in the know, who also fit the mold of obese. Yet, they do nothing about it.

Why is that? The reason is that pleasure, the idea of being healthier, thinner, living longer, is not enough to get one to put down the cookies and go workout. It is only after one gets an "awakening" in the form of pain that he or she will do something about it. Before that, habits simply take over.

So, what is the point of all this? My view is that one can be proactive about change. Most people tend to resist it. Sadly, this is a way to unhappiness since life is not static. The nature of the world we live in is that it changes. Those who attempt to remain the same tend to lose ground. Things move in a forward direction whether we want them to or not. Those who resist this tend to live in unhealthy states. Consider the mother who always picture a child as "her little boy" (or girl). Reality is that kids grow up and holding onto is not a healthy state. Change is inevitable and we either embrace it or get run over by it.

Therefore, we need to embrace the pain that we experience. Why? Because this is the foundation of our ability to change. We can alter what we do in an instance....we just need a powerful enough motivator. Pain offers that.

I see so many who are locked in to their present state without hope of change. The reason I know this is because they have settled. People of this ilk are not even unhappy. They just are listless. It is a state many of us find ourselves in periodically. However, it is crucial that we get out of that. We need to realize that life can offer us a lot. The only factor is that we get unhappy about something. This shows passion and desire. Those who settle lack these important components.

Change is good. It is a result that comes after experiencing frustration, anger, and hurt. It is only after having enough of something that we are willing to do something about it. Ponder the weight loss situation for a moment to get a good visual. Only after having enough, will one get off the sofa and go workout. Proactive reasons aside, vanity or fear are often the motivators in this instance. Nevertheless, it is effective.

Being someone who seeks out change sets one in the minority. To be honest, most get run over by the circumstances in their lives. They resist change until it is too late. Many buy into the saying "you cant teach an old dog new tricks". This is inaccurate. One is never too old to change and no habit to ingrained that it cannot be altered. Sure it takes effort, persistence, and work. But that is what separates those who live a growing, expanding life from those who settle for what is offered. Change and the ability to deal with it are at the core.

All change starts with a decision. It is the mindset that "I am no longer going to accept this in my life" that instigates the process. The choice to lose weight is what precedes the exercising and healthier eating. Everything we decide to do differently is concluded in the mind. After that, action follows.

The biggest obstacle in achieving lasting change is overcoming the old habit while instilling a new one. People tend to live their lives on autopilot. Therefore, the unconscious action will always overcome the conscious one. Why? Because we do not have to think to do things that we do without thinking. Unconscious habits are difficult to break. The key is to break them and make the empowering actions habit. This can take some time. It is at this point that one must be persistent in the endeavor. However, it is the only way to change our lives.
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The Secret

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Improve Your Life Immediately

We are creatures of habit. People do the same things each day, often without realization. They wake up at the same time, follow the same routine in the morning, leave for work, etc... Most operate on autopilot throughout the day. Very little mental input is needed. The consciousness is continually focused elsewhere. For example, have you ever had an item one moment only to find yourself searching frantically for it the next. You put the item down without giving it a thought.

Habits are what play a large role in the success or failure that we experience. Regular readers of this blog know that I am fascinated by those who attain the highest levels in sports. The habits they have are what determines how much success they enjoy. Consider the marathon runner. He or she is in the habit of running a certain distance everyday. While there are days that he or she does not feel like doing the work, this person does it anyway. Often, it is without thought. This individual is so conditioned that leaving the house with the running shoes on is done without thinking. How would you like to be able to approach your exercise routine in that manner? I only takes the development of the habit.

So how do we find out about our habits? This is an easy process that can be completed in under an hour. It starts by putting everything that you do on a daily basis on a piece of paper. Begin by listing the time you wake up and end when you go to bed. List everything that you can think of in between. This will lay for the foundation for creating your daily plan. It is important to remember that all successes are achieved one moment at a time.

Once you listed all that you do each day, take another piece of paper and list all the daily activities that will improve your life. For example, if you desire to be more spiritual, write down the time you want to spend in prayer/meditation. The same is done for health. List out the exercise routine you will put into practice. If writing is your thing, make sure you put on there the time you will sit getting your ideas down.

Now it is time to look at our initial list. Most people see some glaring habits immediately. These are the activities which move you further away from your goals. There will be 3-5 that jump off the page. Some lay on the couch watching television after work. Others light up a cigarette as soon as getting out of bed. Whatever the habit is, circle it. It is necessary to bring the problem to the conscious level. Now you are aware of what you are dealing with.

Changing behavior is one of most difficult things in the world. The next phase can be rather tough depending on how long the habit was in play. However, now is the time that we begin to alter what we do. It is helpful to start with an easy one. If showing up late to work is one of the circles on your list, get there on time starting tomorrow. Make this commitment to yourself and keep it. This will enable you to develop some momentum. Approach each item that is circled and set out to change it.

A wonderful aspect to this entire exercise is that the two lists can work together. If we choose an item that will enhance our life, we often find that the opposite is already circled. Exercise is a prime example. Often people want to reduce the amount of television watched. This time can be used to exercise. We just replaced a bad habit with a good one. One can also read books that increase his or her knowledge in a particular field. This is more beneficial than watching the"idiot box" or surfing the net.

Success is made up of action. Those who are highly successful take different actions than the rest of us. This exercise allows us to see the daily actions that hinder while fostering the development of beneficial activities. Habits are nothing more than actions. When we are concentrating on changing habits, we are really seeking to change our actions.

A final thought: this ought not be a one time deal. This plan is a tool that I continually use. Even though I might make a few corrections immediately, I found that more existed. Self improvement is often like peeling an onion. We take it in layers. Do this exercise today, then revisit it in about 10 days. See how your progress is. You will find where you are still falling short. Also, the improvement you made will be noticed, thus opening up the possibility of making more changes. Follow this for a few months and you will see success at your doorstep.
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5 Ways To Improve Your Day

Here are 5 simple ideas that can implemented immediately to change the routine that you are stuck in. Doing all of them will completely alter your present outlook.

1. Get Up Earlier In The Morning:

The tone for our day is set within the first hour we are awake. Most people are awaken by the alarm clock, hit snooze until they must get up, get ready for work, and run out the door. This begins out day in a frantic state.

An easy way to change this is to get up an hour earlier in the morning. Utilize this time to read, think, or work on your goals. Spent these quiet moments working on enriching yourself. Beginning your day at a relaxed pace better prepares you to deal with the circumstances will arise later on. Hence your first hour is spent productively.

2. Spend Some Time In Nature:

This is not to say that you need to go hiking in the Rockies although that is a wonderful idea. Our generation spends most of its time inside. We rush from building to building never taking in the beauty around us. Nature is a marvelous mechanism if we will only that the time to enjoy it.

A simple way to do this is to take a walk around your neighborhood. Get outside and look at the wonders in the sky. Consider how big it all really is. How far away is the sun or the stars that you see up there? This really changes our perspective. Notice all the creatures that you see. Each of them is a living being existing in the same universe as you. Connect with that side of yourself.

3. Disconnect From Technology:

We live in the information age. With text and instant messaging, Blackberries, Ipods, the Internet, and a host of other devices, we are available all the time. Change things up by turning all that stuff off. You will find that it is not as easy as it seems. We have gotten to the point where our technologies are a connection.

Plan one day to “remove” yourself from the available list. Let the world progress without you. Take a timeout from all the news and reports of what is transpiring. It will all be there when you log back on. Use this time to recharge your batteries. Find someone you care about and interact with them at a heartfelt level. They will appreciate your uninterrupted attention.

4. Move Some Furniture Around:

This is a basic technique which will instantly make things feel different. Choose a room that you spend a lot of time in and move the furniture around. This will give you a completely different perspective on the room. Perhaps you can arrange it so that you are sitting on the other side of your loved one. You will find that you will have to momentarily think of where things are. The unconscious pattern of movement throughout the room is broken. For a few weeks, the room and your life will have a different feel.

5. Set A Spectacular Goal

This is guaranteed to get the juices flowing. Decide on something truly spectacular that you want to accomplish in your life. Perhaps you want to visit all 7 continents, write a book, travel into space, or solve a worldwide problem. Whatever the goal is, make it really big. This lifts your thinking to a much higher level then you normally operate at.

In addition to setting the goal, which needs to be in writing, take three steps to start the process. Immediately begin taking action to work towards its' attainment. This will allow you to develop momentum that can carry you forward. You will notice a new level of excitement within you. The old routine is instantly smashed by the pursuit of a special goal.
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20 Ideas I Wish I Knew When I Was 20

Success seems to be an elusive treasure for many. There are some many ways to attain it yet most of us get caught up trying to figure it all out ourselves. This leads to a great deal of lost time to gain the "experience" needed to be successful. Looking back, I wish someone had put together a list of hard facts that were true in life. Since it was not done for me, I would like to share my list of success "truths".

1. Success is easier with a team:

Success is not created in a vacuum. It takes the efforts of many people to make one achieve anything great. The most successful people have partners, coaches, teammates, and co-workers who all have a hand in the final outcome. Also, our the level of success that is possible increase substantially when we enlist the abilities and efforts of others. As Marc Victor Hanson likes to say "one plus one is an eleven folding of talent". Create a team with the best people that you can.

2. Opportunities are everywhere:

Everywhere there is a problem, there is an opportunity. The world is full of challenges that are waiting to be solved. As we proceed forward, now obstacles are created daily. Huge fortunes are being made by people taking the initiative to solve these problems. Society needs someone to build a better "mousetrap" and that person is you. Look for the opportunities in your life that are offered to you.

3. You get more in life by saying "yes" than by saying "no":

This is one of Richard Branson's sayings. Fear is a powerful influence in life. It causes us to make decisions that are not always in our best interest. Often we turn down opportunities which will raise our lives to a new level. Saying "yes" to life allows us to engage in the wonders of it. There is more that is gained by going forward then by standing still. Certainly we will lose at times. But overcoming the fear of loss is what will set us free. Begin to say "yes" to the opportunities that are presented in your life.

4. Like attracts like:

Physics talks about energy on the same frequency being attracted to similar energy. This is true for our outlook. Positive attitudes garner positive results. Negative attitudes create gets the same outcome. To get more positive results in life, spend more time with a positive attitude. This will attract the desired results into your life.

5. The path to success is already laid out:

Reinventing the wheel is a waste of time. Unlike we were taught in school, copying is a good thing. People have already paved the road to success. Simply learn the actions and procedures they took while following suit. Every industry has a model that sets the process for achievement. Life becomes much simpler when that is uncovered.

6. Have fun:

It is easy to get caught up in all that we have to do. Responsibilities mount the more success we achieve. It is important to have fun at every stage of life. Too often people delay their joy until they arrive at a specific destination. Taking the time for ourselves is crucial as holistic selves. Lighten up and take things a little less seriously.

7. Work smarter, not harder:

Digging ditches is hard work yet it is not a well compensated trade. The world pays more for mental power than it does physical. Try to determine ways to systematize the things you need to do to free up yourself. The nobility is in working smarter, not harder.

8. Things do not equal happiness:

The richest are not always the happiest. The accumulation of things is wonderful. However, it is imperative that we keep in mind what is important. The happiness that "things" give us is temporary. Happiness is a state that comes from within us; it rarely comes from the outside.

9. Who cares about the Joneses:

How much time do we spend trying to "keep up with the Joneses"? Our egos are often tied to the opinion of others. Be your own person. Ignore what others think about you. It is best to pursue endeavors which fulfill us. Too many attend to those things that other people want them to. Live your life according to how you see fit.

10. There is always something to be grateful for:

No matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something to be grateful for. Gratitude is a wonderful tool for getting us out of the doldrums. Looking at the positive aspect of situations will always help bring the undesirable effects to an end quicker. Remember, there is always someone else who is worse off than you.

11. Everyone has their time in the "barrel":

To listen to people talk, you would think that they were the only ones with problems. The truth is that everyone has circumstances which they go through that are not pleasant. Illness, financial difficulty, and death affect most people at different stages of their lives. Resist the temptation to think that you are special in this regard. When negative circumstances arise, move forward knowing others are succeeding in dealing with similar issues.

12. Plan you life and live you plan:

I love the analogy to taking a trip across country without a road map. This is something that most would never consider doing. Yet almost all will approach their life without a forethought to where they would like to go. In fact, people spend more time planning their vacations than they do to plan their lives. Studies have shown that individuals who set down goals with a written plan for their achievement attain a far greater degree of success than those who fail to do so.

13. Failure is our best teacher:

Failure is a tough thing to go through. However, it can be our most beneficial experience. Successful people all seem to have had their share of failures. It is the lessons from these situation which makes them so valuable. Take the time to analyze why things turned out how they did and resolve not to make the same mistake. This is where life prepares us for the next challenge.

14. Most people are willing to help:

We feel we need to do it all on our own. This stems from the belief that most people don't care. The truth is that most people are willing to help wherever they can. People, at their basic core, are nice. They want to contribute. It makes us feel good to help another. Rid yourself of the desire to do it all on your own and ask others for help. You will be surprised at the warm response you get.

15. The starting point is irrelevant:

There are hundreds of stories of people who started from the worst circumstances only to achieve greatness. Individuals who blame their surroundings for their lack of success are using this as a crutch. There are opportunities in all areas of life for those who are willing to go after them. It is where you are going that is important, not where you start from.

16. Everything starts as a thought:

There is nothing that mankind has made in this world that did not start as an idea in someone's head. Everyday, we each have ideas which are mostly dismissed. Capturing one of those ideas can change how the world operates. Also, having the right mindset will do more to ensure our success than any other attribute. Pay attention to what takes place within your own head.

17. We all have more talents than we can uncover:

Everyone on this planet is created with an incredible amount of ability. Yet we often believe that we "can't do anything right". This is negative conditioning allowed to ruin our lives. There is an unbelievable skill within you at this present moment. Beginning to say "yes" to opportunities in life will uncover what those talents are. Often we do not realize what we are capable of until we are forced into a tough situation.

18. Everything is perspective:

Even though you will swear it to be the truth, it is really only your perspective. Our viewpoint is usually what determines how we process things. Is the glass half full or half empty? Both answers are correct, depending on your perspective. Remember this whenever you are determined to make yourself right and someone else wrong.

19. Tap into your true self:

Some call it passion, others life purpose. Whatever the term, there is something in life that only you can perform. Spend some time seeking out what it is. All greatness comes from this place. Do not worry about the financial compensation. People who tap into their true essence while releasing their talents on the world are well paid. Find out what it is and follow it.

20. You can make a huge difference:

There is no limit to the impact that you can have. Many of the greatest figures in history were from the humblest of beginnings. They were average people who took extraordinary action when called upon. You can do the same thing. The ideas that you have right now can impact thousands, if not, millions of lives. Begin to accept this as your reality.

Here is the list of ideas which I feel will lead anyone to success. See how many you can implement into your life on a daily basis. People who have done so report an incredible increase in their success, happiness, productivity, and freedom.

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