Applying What You Know

I am always astonished whenever I see a doctor smoking cigarettes. If there is one profession you would think should have a 0% smoking rate, it would be the physicians. These people are intimately knowledgeable about the dangers of smoking. They deal personally with the disorders that this habit creates. Yet, there is a percentage of them that still engages in it.

The same is true for people in the medical community who are overweight. We all know that hypertension, diabetes, and other ailments are directly linked to excessive weight. Again, we have an entire profession who sees the results on a daily basis. However, there is a large percentage of the individuals in this fields who are heavy. In short, they are putting themselves at risk.

My intention is not to pick on the medical community as much as to emphasize how people do not do what they know. The application of knowledge is what leads to success. Long term good health is a result of a series of steps taken over a long period of time. Proper diet, exercise, and the elimination of bad habits (such as smoking or excessive drinking) are fundamentals in achieving this end. The medical community is well aware of this yet many fail to apply it to their lives. Instead, they make up excuses or ignore the problem altogether. Either way, the end result is the same.

This idea is expanded to all areas of life. How many times have you read a book about a particular subject and thought "these are some good ideas, I will have to try them". Did you? If you are like most, months or years later, that book is collecting dust on a shelf with the knowledge wasted through lack of application. Here we know something yet refuse to do it.

The situation gets worse when we have first hand experience about the benefits of something but fail to continue to do it. We see this in the business world where people followed a particular set of steps to create success then stop doing it. For example, many people have an investment plan that generates above average returns. However, instead of following this path, the person decides to do something different in hopes of achieving more. While this can be a good thing if more knowledge was attained, in many instances it is simply a case of the person ceasing the application of what is known.

So, my challenge to you is to apply all you know to your life. If you are over the age of 30, you acquired a great deal of experience. Live is a wonderful teacher is we are willing to apply the lessons it offers. In every area of life, you can find a blueprint for success. Decide what you want, get the blueprint, and apply the knowledge garnered from that research. It is that simple. As you can see, the first two steps are worthless unless you follow it up with the application of knowledge.

Many have said that the difference is in the actions we take. I agree. Those who succeed take actions that are in stark contrast to those who do not. Success is nothing more than finding out what needs to be done and doing it. This is why life needs to be a continual learning experience. If we are to attain great heights, we must apply the knowledge that is in our heads for our benefit. Do not allow fear, laziness, or insecurity to hinder you. Just do what you know and you will be a whole lot better off.
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The Desire To Improve

Have you ever thought about what it takes to change? What is it that makes one change successful while another is a miserable failure? How can some people lose 100+ pounds while others cannot get even 20 pounds off? The answer is that it all starts with desire.

12 Step Programs

12 Step programs all across the nature understand this concept. Whether one is talking about addiction to alcohol, drugs, sex, food, or gambling, the effectiveness of these programs revolves around what they term "willingness". The theory is that one will only begin to recover after being yielded willing by whatever the vice is. In other words, did the person receive enough pain to have reached a "bottom".

Obviously this is a personal matter. But, if we translate it to each of us even if not an addicted person, we can see the merits. Why does one lose weight while another fails to do so? Simply, the one who succeeded had the internal desire to achieve the outcome sought. He or she was tired of being the other way. It is only after reaching this point that one can begin the process of change.

Of course, this would also explain why people start yet fail. Perhaps it is a simple as they were not ready. Again, going back to the lessons taught by our addiction therapists, many enter rehab or a 12 step program only to experience a slip backwards. Experts will say the reasoning is the person "simply was not ready to give it up". This lack of willingness led to the downfall.

Again we can bring this same analogy across to whatever behavior we want to focus upon. The only reason why change does not take root is one is attempting something before he or she is ready. There is no other reason for the failure. If this person suffered enough pain through the process of remaining the same, change would be instant. Everything would fall into place ensuring success. Sadly, few, as shown by addicts, ever get to this point.

Increase The Pain

Often the activity we are engaging upon does not have immediate negative results. Taking smoking as an example. Nobody picks up a cigarette for the first time, takes a couple of drags, and drops over dead (unless he or she has an asthma attack). However, we know that long term cigarette use has deadly effects upon the individual. The pain is not immediate but, rather, long term in nature.

Much like the frog in the boiling water, when pain is not immediate and intense, it fails to motivate. If you dont know this story, a frog will literally sit in boiling water and die if you put it in when it is cool and slowly increase the temperature. Drop the frog into water that is already boiling and it will jump out. Nevertheless, a slow increase in temperature is not even notice until it is too late. This parallels how we are as humans.

Thus, we need to increase the pain as quickly as possible. Using the smoking as an example, we know that therapists and counselors have used tactics such as showing pictures of black lung to emphasize the pain in the moment. This helps to bring the future pain to the present moment. Spending time with people who suffer from lung cancer is another "scare" tactic employed to reach the desired end.

Anything that helps one to experience more pain will assist in getting the person to make lasting change. Remember, no pain, no gain. One will not stick with something if it is easier to remain the same. This is true for all change.

Pain versus Pleasure

Which brings us to the final point. Why do we not just increase the pleasure associated with the desired outcome and use that as motivation? Simple. Because that is a failing strategy. Many people have employed that tactic without success. Of course it is easy to picture oneself nice and slim with a fantastic figure. Carrying that mental image is helpful but I would venture to say few who suffer from obesity are motivate much by that. The reason I say this is because they had that image in their head for years and look at the result. It is only after experiencing enough pain that one will take the action necessary for change.

We like to think that we do things for proactive reasons. Sadly, that does not appear to the be human condition. Most people will do a helluva lot more to avoid pain than they will to gain some pleasure. Every Monday, millions of people show up at work because they want to avoid the dreaded situation of having no money to pay their bills. Few will leave a position to pursue something that excites them and instills passion. Instead, they remain locked into a career because the pain of leaving is too difficult. Pleasure is available but pain is the motivator.

Hence, if you are faced with making a change, ramp up the pain factor tenfold. Use whatever mental/psychological tactics necessary to do this. Pain is a tremendous ally. This is what provides us with the desire to improve. Remember, lasting change only occurs after one reaches the point where changing is less painful than remaining the same. Thus, your challenge is to generate enough pain in not changing so that changing is much more attractive. Once this is accomplished, then you will see radical improvement.
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The Future Is Bright

No matter what the circumstances, it is crucial to remember the future is always bright. This is an outlook that all successful people maintain.

Zig Ziglar, the famous self help guru, tells a story when he was selling pots during his early years how he would answer the question "how are sales". Regardless of how they were, he would always reply "fabulous...sales are fabulous". Why did Zig do this? Was it because he was out of touch with reality? Certainly not. Zig knew how important it was to maintain a positive outlook. Even if things were not going so well, eventually, with this view, things did turn around. Think of it as a self fulfilling prophecy.

How does your future look? If you believe it is miserable, then that is exactly what you will get. The truth is that it takes no more energy to look at things in a positive light than it does in a negative. However, the problem most people have is that they are conditioned to look at things negatively. We become pessimists in our own minds.

The truth is there is always something to complain about. Each of us has problems in our lives. The other day I listened to someone who mentioned how, when she was working, she could not wait until she was retired. She felt that once she was retired, all her problems would disappear. Of course, we all know how inaccurate this outlook is. No matter what one's plight in life, there are always problems. Accept them as being a constant and move on.

Solutions are what is required. Nevertheless, most do not give them an opportunity to look for this because of their outlook. Consider for a second the possibility for uncovering any new actions to take when your viewpoint is that things are awful. What do you think you will be concentrating upon? The fact is that the mind will instantly shut down all possible solutions and focus solely upon how bad things are. In effect, we create a cyclical situation that only heads downward.

The future is bright. Regardless of how things are at the moment, there is always an opportunity to turn them around. But there is a recession on you say? Many millionaires were created during the Great Depression. Did you realize that the highly successful company Hewlett Packard was started in a garage during this era? Obviously, the economic environment did not lend itself to this kind of opportunity but here is a prime example where contrary thinking netted a huge windfall.

So, again, no matter what your present circumstances, always remember the future is bright. If you choose to dwell upon those things that get you down, that is your right. However, you are the one who is going to pay the price. Try looking at things in a positive context for the next 21 days. You will be amazed at how much better your life is. Circumstances first change in the head and then move towards the outer realm. If you think, then it will be.
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Focusing upon what you can control

There are times when life spins out of control. In fact, when one really considers it, life is always spinning out of control. Most of what occurs around us is outside our realm of influence. Things just happen that have nothing to do with our abilities nor dedication. The phrase "s**t happens" certainly applies.

Accepting Things We Cannot Change

The Serenity Prayer has a phrase in it that is one of the keys to happiness. The line "accept the things I cannot change" is stated in recovery programs all over the world. It is a statement that helps addicts (i.e. chronic malcontents) handle the emotional rigors of daily life. Also, egomaniacs tend to think they can handle everything, which is absolutely untrue. Since most things are outside the realm of our influence, it is senseless to spend emotional energy on it. Yet this is exactly what most people do.

Another line from that same prayer that prayer is "grant me the courage to change the things I can". Here is another area that the majority of people screw up in a big way. While they do not know the bounds of what they can affect, they often overlook those areas that they can. In turn, they live life in a completely backwards way.

For example, consider how much time people spend fretting about what is going on at the upper levels of government. Here is an instance where one is completely powerless over what is going on. Sure, one could join a particular organization which promotes an agenda or influences change. If one does this, he or she is operating in a way that might make an impact. Nevertheless, few do this. Instead they expend emotional energy getting upset at what politicians are doing. In short, it is a total waste of time. Nothing is ever accomplished doing this.

Ergo, it is crucial to determine exactly where we need to focus our attention.

Let The Chips Fall Where They May

This is another saying that I find holds truth. People who have the ability to "let the chips fall where they may" find they enjoy a lot more success in life. Most tend to underachieve because of the simple fact they are too busy trying to dictate outcomes. The reality in life is that it is impossible to focus upon an outcome. Instead, we need to concentrate upon what action is required and taking that action.

Result occur because of the efforts put in. I was in a sales organization run by a man who didnt have a sales background. At the end of every gathering, he would tell everyone that we needed to sell more (a common statement). This showed a gross misunderstanding of how things are. People do not go out and make sales since a sale is a result. What people do is go our make sales calls, presentation, demonstrations, and proposals. In short, a salesperson needs to focus upon the actions that lead up to the sale, not the sale itself.

The same approach is utilized to losing weight, as an example. A person who focuses upon losing 20 pounds is doomed from the start. The proper method is to concentrate upon the activity that equates to weight lose. Special attention needs to be given to the diet program that is followed. At the same time, exercise is am important variable that cannot be overlooked. When actions of this nature are taken, weight loss will result. A person focuses upon the action and lets the chips fall where they may.

Do What Is In Front Of You

A simple way to focus one's attention upon those areas where he or she does have influence is to do whatever is there in the present moment. In other words, just do whatever task is at hand. I realize that I am going contrary to time management experts here but most people have a big problem in handling the simplest of tasks. Taking no action is more common than taking the wrong action. Hence, just do whatever is at hand in that moment.

Few people realize that life is lived on a daily basis. Whatever needs accomplishing should be done. Changing the world begins at home. In addition, changing your life starts with the next action you are going to take. Developing the ability to act on a consistent basis to achieve a desired result is an invaluable trait. This is even more powerful when one can operate from this premise while the world around him or her is collapsing.

In closing, focusing upon what you can control means affecting those areas of your life which actually can result in progress. The world is an out of control place with you as one of 6+ billion inhabitants. If you spend your time worrying about what everyone else is doing, the result will be a lackluster and unfulfilled life. Instead, pinpoint your concentration upon those activities which are right in front of you. Do not look for results, simply actions. Results are produced as a byproduct of your actions. Remember this the next time you want to jump to the conclusion. Your life down the road is affected by the choice you make right now as to the next action you will take. Make it a worthwhile choice.
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There Are Always Opportunities

"Feelings Aren't Facts"

We all have setbacks in life. There are times when things do not go our way. Sadly, it seems that the events during these times pile up. They say that things happen in threes. Most of us understand this from experience. It seems when something goes wrong, everything goes wrong. The snowball effect has been felt by all of us.

It is during these times where we can allow our feelings to get in the way. It is easy to feel bad when things are falling to pieces around us. Depression, anxiety, fear, and other emotions (all negative) can arise within us. Unfortunately, we assume a position of powerlessness when we allow these things to take hold of us. The truth is that feelings are not facts.

Many will try to disprove this statement but it not possible. Feelings only serve as a guide. However, it is up to each of us how we process what we experience. There are always two choices: become paralyzed or motivate ourselves to move forward. Whatever the situation, these are always the two choices we are confronted with.

Another fact of life is there are always opportunities in front of us. This is an difficult concept to remember when one is mired in the emotional abyss that can result from horrific life circumstances. Nevertheless, this does not diminish this age old truth. A common occurrence of the last few years is where one finds his/her world turned upside down due to a job loss. Millions of people were put out of work with scarce chance of finding equal replacement employment. Naturally, this creates a host of emotions within a person.

I once heard a motivational speaker get excited when one of the audience members mentioned losing her job the day before. He said "That is wonderful. Now you have 360 degrees of possibilities before you". Obviously, it all comes down to our perception of things. This individual saw the opportunities for this person to move forward.

And that is the main point of this post. It is time for each of us to move forward. There is nothing that should hold us back. Sure, there are times when things occur which are not to our liking. Nevertheless, we are able to choose how things affect us. Are we motivated to move forward or do we want to dwell in the emotional negativity that naturally arises from such events? Those who are successful in life are able to recognize that life happens. Because of this, they take the action that is needed to move forward. Feelings tend to only hold us back since we are apt to listen to them like they were factual. In reality, life does not care how you feel. It judges us by the action we take. In the end, the only challenge in life is to get ourselves to move forward. Change is inevitable. The only way to deal with it is to concentrate upon that which needs our attention. Projection only hinders especially in times like these.

One final note: the greatest of success stories rarely emerged from ideal conditions. This is true whether we look at sports, business, health, or any other facet of life. The successful start from where they are at and take action. Those who play the waiting game ultimately end up stuck in neutral. There are only some many moments on this planet. It is time to get busy.

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Commit or Recommit

Only people who are committed to something succeed at it.

Ponder this statement for a few minutes. When you consider it, the only way to succeed is to completely commit to something. Anything less than that means one's chances are diminished greatly. The examples we can look to keep arriving at this same conclusion.

The top athletes in a particular sport are where they are because of the commitment to that activity. This same idea is true for concert pianists, authors, and airplane pilots. Anything that a person excels at required hours upon hours of practice. People might be born with the natural talent yet time invested is still needed to reach a level of excellence. For every person who excels, there are countless others who were born with the same talent but did not have the commitment to achieve greatness.

Commitment is a vital component in all areas of our lives. Take relationships as an example. People who enjoy 40 or 50 years of marriage only do so because they are committed to each other and the relationship. These people have the same issues as everyone else. Nevertheless, they overcome the challenges because of the desire to succeed.

We see the same thing in the area of physical fitness. Everyone who works out has times when they want to be lazy. It takes motivation and drive to get to the gym even when you do not feel like it. It is also true that sticking with a healthy diet is often difficult. It is a fact of life there are times the ice cream or jelly donut are calling us. It is commitment to a healthy lifestyle that allows one to resist the temptation and stay the course.

Life is difficult at times. Every path has its own set of obstacles. It is commitment that allows us to keep pushing forward even when the route is hard. Those who have what I call a "wishy-washy" attitude will quit at the first hindrance. This is what separates the successful from the unsuccessful.

Therefore, it is time to commit. If you are not excelling in a certain area, take a look at the commitment you have to it. Many people struggle at work. Delve into how much effort you put in there to succeed. Are you committed to excelling in that career (company) or are you just there for the paycheck? If it is the later, look at either moving to another position or, at least, finding something bigger to latch onto there.

Sometimes we need to recommit to what is important to us. We all can lose our way as the trials and tribulations mount. Our priorities get screwed up periodically and, after a while, it is noticeable. So, if the flat stomach now looks more like a spare tire, perhaps it is time to recommitting to living a healthy lifestyle that includes more exercise and less calories. Whatever the area of hangup, take a look at your commitment level and seek to increase it. Oftentimes, this is the only piece that is missing. It is incredible what is possible once you fully commit to something.
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The Here And Now

We have all heard that life is meant to be lived in the present moment. There are many books on the market referring to the "Power of Now" and how present focus is the only way to reach fulfillment. Many eastern philosophies teach this concept as a basis of their discipline.

Without getting into any of the specifics, this outlook holds a great deal of weight. Most people miss their entire lives because of the fact they are always "off somewhere else". Human beings tend to be masterful projectors in the sense that we are usually looking ahead to some future point in time. Sadly, when we do this it is associated with the emotion termed "worry". This is because people tend to project in the negative. What I mean by this is that when we look ahead, we often envision the situation resolving itself in a negative manner.

If we want to look at this in the nth degree, we need only to notice how people approach the afterlife. Most of the world's religions contain the promise of some form of eternal salvation after death. Of course, to achieve this, there are a series of things that one must do before attaining this status. Therefore, it is beneficial to consider all the time and money spent by individuals and groups in an effort to attain something that has never be proven to exist.

In this instance, people cease looking at the here and now and concentrate their efforts on a mystical time after death. My outlook is one where we only have a certain number of hours on this planet so why waste it on something that is not guaranteed. Of course, the religionists will have my head for making that statement but it is factual. What I can guarantee is that you have this life on this planet right now. That is for certain and it is up to you to determine how you live it.

Time is a creation of man. If we look at other species in the Animal Kingdom we realize they do not operate under the same parameters. Can you picture a cat worrying about when it will die? How absurd. Death is something that is promised to every living thing. Yet humans, with our profound wisdom and advanced intelligence are the only living creature that fears death. Thus we spend a great deal of time trying to alter that reality.

My point is that now is the only time you have. Happiness and fulfillment is found in the moment. What are you doing today? Are you even in today or is your mind off worrying about something in the future or regretting something you did in the past? Guilt and worry are two emotions that people spent a lot of time engaged in which are a total waste. Like the old saying goes "you cant change the past and the future is not here yet". In other words, those two aspects of time really mean little. The present is what is truly important.

So, how do we apply this? It all starts with being present focused. Concentrate your mind upon the tasks that you are presently doing. Whatever you are engaged upon, enjoy it to the maximum. That is where life's rewards are found. It is interesting to note that when we are truly engaged in something, time ceases to mean anything. We simply are wrapped up in the moment. Sex is an activity where many tend to lose themselves (perhaps I should say good sex). The feelings experienced override any concept of time.

The world offers many wonderful pleasures at each moment. If one is mindful enough to appreciate what exists, life can take on a new meaning. Most spend their days looking forward to another time. How often do we meet people who are looking forward to retirement. Of course, when we meet people who are at the point, they are continually looking back at "the good ole days". This shows how people remove themselves from the present moment which creates dissatisfaction.

Another old axiom is that there is no guarantee for tomorrow. Many will go to bed tonight only to not wake up tomorrow. This past week both Steve Jobs and Al Davis passed away. Their hours on this planet expired. Where did they go, if anywhere. I cannot answer that. Nevertheless, the two men were examples of people who didnt waste their time here. They went after their dreams and desires. Waiting until tomorrow was not an option for them. Instead, they took each moment and used it for what they could.

What mark are you making on your life or the world? Do you spend your time wishing your life away in hopes that tomorrow will be better than today? It is ironic that, for the majority of people, tomorrow is a carbon copy of today. In other words, they forgo the present in hopes of a better future only to realize that life does not work that way. Making the most of the here and now is the only way we will ever create a different tomorrow. Jobs and Davis exemplified this.

This is your life. What are you going to do with it? You can choose to waste it or make the most of it. Focusing in a time other than the present is one way to ensure it is wasted. And this is something I hypothesize you do not want. Therefore, resolve to change it now.
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Each Life Is Alternative

We have all heard the term "alternative lifestyle". This is used to denote a way of life that is different from the mainstream. The promoters of dogma insist on classifying living choices that are different in a less than admirable fashion. In this sense, these are degrading the choices most individuals make. Of course, this is all done in an effort to maintain power.

The truth is that each life is alternative. Those who understand this idea are willing to take control of the path they opt to live upon. No two lives are the same simply because no two people are the same. Sadly, individuality is not something that the "powers that be" want. The prefer obedient subjects who conform to their every whim. We see this idea all throughout society.

Therefore, it is up to you to forge your own path. This requires internal research to determine what it is that makes you tick. Few people ever take the time to investigate this aspect of themselves. Instead, they blindly follow the mantra that is presented to them. It is depressing to watch someone adhere to all the precepts which promise happiness only to find they end up completely miserable.

We have only one life to live. There are times when the choices we make will be unpopular. Family and close friends profess to only want what is best for us but will be the worst critics when we exemplify any individuality. It is almost as if their love is conditional....we will love and support you as long as you are doing what we believe is best for you. Step outside that boundary will net you being ostracized.

When we were born, or in our youth, we were not handed a manual for a successful life. The reason is because this publication does not exist. Many will profess to have ideas about what path to take which leads to happiness, but how many can honestly say they are happy in their lives. Financial burdens are at their all time worst. The divorce rate is over 50% and climbing. Children are suffering neglect and abuse at absurd rates. Drinking and drug use is commonplace while being readily accepted by society. In short, people are miserable. The only relief they seem to get is the nightly vegging out in front of the television.

If you aspire to something more, you must be willing to step out of the mainstream path and do what suits you. Naturally, this does not mean you have to become an anarchist or a complete radical (unless you choose to be that). It does, however, mean that you will have to alter your thinking about the way life "should" be lived. Understand that much of what you were taught is a complete lie. It is not the path to success and happiness for many. Instead, misery and malcontent seems to be the norm today.

Designing your life means making your own choices. Few are willing to do this because of the risks I mentioned above. It is difficult to stand on your own and be strong. However, those that can do it find the contentment inside they are seeking. Those who succumb to the pressure of others find they have that nagging voice continually telling them that they settled. Ultimately, this feeds into more misery.

Decide today that you are going to design your life as you see fit. You have only so many hours left on this planet. Use them wisely.
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Exhibiting Courage

Courage is something that we commonly reserve for soldiers, firefighters, and police officers. We often refer to people acting "courageously in the line of duty". These individuals are esteemed because they risk for the benefit of others. This is a class of people who deserve the attention. However, they do not have a monopoly on courage.

Many think courage is the absence of fear. It is not. Mark Twain may have summed it up best when he penned:

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear."

Each of us needs to exhibit courage in our daily lives. Fear is something that affects all of us. However, those who succeed are able to take action in spire of the fear. They exhibit some courage by "doing it anyway". The unsuccessful allow themselves to be paralyzed by fear. Their action is stifled because the fear controls them.

Sadly, courage is something that is rarely talked about in our society. Instead, we are presented with an image that we are weak if we allow fear to enter into our minds. It is a fact that everyone experiences fear. The trick is to realize where it resides. Many think of it as a feeling which it can be since it manifests itself in that way. Nevertheless, it is vital to remember that fear, like everything else, starts in the mind. Our lives are nothing more than mental exercises. Everything we experience first started as a thought.

This insight is helpful in overcoming fear. Courage is something that we create in our minds also. To overcome fear, we simply have to picture the payoff of the action being greater than the expense of succumbing to the fear. For many, this is almost impossible since they are so conditioned to giving into the fear. After years of settling, people begin to rationalize why they cannot take action. These "excuses" serve as justification for continuing along the same path without change. Of course, this is only reinforced by society since fear is used by all promoters of dogma.

Security is an illusion. Many settle for things in their life because they believe in this fallacy. The truth is that nothing is secure in life. Life is a dynamic entity; it is not static. Things change in an instant. People often take things for granted until their world is suddenly cast in a much different light. Look at how lives are altered by car crashes, hurricanes, and disease. These are just a few examples which take security and toss it out the window.

Therefore, we need to look at our fears. Why do we have a fear of financial insecurity? Of public speaking? Of humiliation? Of failure? Of being ostracized by friends or family? Many of these same thoughts pass through the minds of everyone. However, those who are able to overcome these things are the ones who excel. In short, they act courageously in the face of their fears.

Keep these ideas at the forefront of your mind when you start to see yourself succumbing to fear. Naturally, those situations where we are in extreme personal danger are to be avoided and the times when listing to that inner voice is helpful. However, in our daily lives, few of us encounter such extreme decisions. Instead, we face situations where one of the above-mentioned fears (or a host of others) get in the way of our progress in those areas that are important to us. We seek the security that comes from inactivity only to later realize that it does not exist. Ultimately, we always pay the price for listening to our fears.

Courage is required if we are to avoid the state of stagnation. Paralysis from fear is something that comes from repetition. We see this in people who allowed this cancer to control their lives for decades. These same people often completely shut down. They usually are inept at making decisions since that muscle was not exercised. Their rationalization for life is in high gear always justifying the lack of progress. Plus they blame everyone else for their ills. Yet, when a person of this sort looks back over his or her life, the truth is realized. Fear won over and over.

In closing, just remember we all will meet the end someday. Do you want to be one who looks back and notices all the missed opportunities because of the succumbing to fear? Or will you be a person who knows you gave it your best in all situations? The choice comes is yours.

Choose wisely.

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The Power of The Mind

Reality is created in the mind. This seems like an absurd statement but it is the truth. Everything we see, hear, touch, smell, and taste is filtered through our brains. There, we have a treasure trove of memories which the new sensations are linked up to. Everything we process is done through this central computer.

The bad news is that whatever we "see" in the mind is real. It cannot distinguish between real or imagined. Instead, it sees everything as concrete. This allows a thing called fear to assume control. When we are living in a state of fear, our projections are imprinted upon our minds as real. Even though the situation that we are thinking about is days or weeks away, the mind reads it as true.

None of us have a crystal ball that can forecast what will happen. Therefore, any projections we are engaging upon are simple creations of the mind. This is a powerful mechanism which creates "reality" by sending the sensations throughout our body. How many of us have felt that pit in our stomach when we thought about something that we needed to do in the future. The brain manifested the thoughts in our mind as a real sensation in the body.

So if the mind can create our reality, why do we allow it to establish a negative view of things? Again, this is where fear enters the picture. Fear is a mighty foe that has a way of showing itself in many different forms. At times is dresses up as anger; others as terror; still others as uncertainty; the list goes on and on. In short, we look at a future situation, fear in one form or another, and we suddenly have a negative outlook upon the future event.

Of course, the problem with this approach is that it ruins our present moments. The truth is that there are always things we need to tend to in the future. If we spend all our time focusing upon "what will happen" with a negative viewpoint, we completely miss our lives. Always looking ahead causes us to miss right now. Certainly everyone can identify with thinking about something in the future and completely miss what is being said to you. Our mind wanders off and takes us from "the now".

So what do we do about creating a new reality? The first step is to recognize what is happening. The mind likes to play games with us. Accept this as a reality. Also, consider all the things that you have feared in your life and then question how many of them came true. Sure, we all had bad things happen to us and events turn negative on us. But the consensus seems to be that most of us allow fear to go to the worst case scenario. The reality is that most of what we imagine does not come true. So the best method is to stop doing that to ourselves.

Of course, this is not easy. A lifetime of habits do not cease overnight. However, when one considers the misery that is created by allowing fear in its many forms to control, then one is instantly motivated to take control of this powerful instrument. Projections are real in the mind. Thus, it is our goal to look at each situation as resolving itself in our favor. Next time you project about some future event, imagine what it will be like if everything went exactly how you wanted it. I know at first this will seem almost impossible since we are conditioned to look at everything negatively. But, the reality is that we have no way of knowing how things will turn out. Since our mind is doing the creating, why not erect a positive outcome in our minds.

Our minds like to play tricks on us. You are free to use it however you see fit if you are willing to take control of it. However, since most go with the default negativity, they are at the mercy of this out of control mechanism. Begin today by looking at things in a positive light. It will change your present reality.
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Stop The Bullcrap

Did that headline get your attention? I hope so because today I am going to hit you all right between the eyes. Here are the facts of life: you are exactly where you are because you chose to be there!!! End of discussion. Your life is as you chose it so stop bitching. Nobody else is responsible for you other than yourself. The fact that things are pathetic are a reflection solely of you and your abilities. I can only presume that you are a pathetic person since that is the result of your life.

Sound too harsh. It isnt. The only way you will succeed in changing is to get hard with yourself. Most of us suffer from the fact that we are way too easy on ourselves. We cut ourselves a break at every opportunity. Excuses work on us all the time and we believe every single one of them. Instead of being an adult and taking responsibility for our lives, we pass the buck by blaming someone else. Hell, you would think that we were all a bunch of politicians the way we pass the burden off to others.

It is time for you to stop the bullcrap and be a man (or woman). Get some kahunas and stand up to yourself. Being a successful adult requires that you take back the power which is within you naturally. Of course, as long as you opt to blame others, they retain the power over you. That makes you very weak.

The reason why I can say all this is because I realize the truth of it in my own life. Everything that occurred (or is occurring) was due to a decision(s) that I made. Nobody ever forced me into anything. I elected to do things of my own free will. Blaming a spouse, employer, or parents is child's play. It is not their fault. The one who created the entire mess that is called my life is me. Nobody else.

I want you to compare the paragraph I just wrote to what you typically hear from the 'victims' of the world. They always have an excuse. Never do they utter the words "I screwed up". Instead it is justification after justification as to why things didnt work out. They do their best to illicit sympathy from all who they interact with. To me, they specialize in the loser mindset. One must first decide to be a loser before it can become reality. Fortunately, the reverse is also true.

Decide today what kind of life you are going to lead. If you are one who wants things different, the first thing you must do is get honest with yourself. You are the reason for all that is wrong in your life. Stop the bullcrap and accept this fact. It is only after then that you can begin to alter things. You must take back the power.

Tomorrow is the first day of the last quarter of the year. It is time to make a major push to finish the year out right. Even if the last 9 months sucked, there is still time to make the necessary changes. Give yourself a 90 day challenge to start doing those things which will change your life. Make the decision tonight to quit conning yourself and move in a different direction. Cease all the blame and excuse making. It is time to grow up. Your life depends upon it.
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The Mind Set The Tone

Have you noticed that the last few posts I wrote focused upon making decisions. While they were not 'decision-making' posts, they did ask you to make a choice. Everything in your life starts in the mind. This is a fact of life. If you desire more, you must decide to have more. It is that simple.

The personal development field is full of terrific books that concentrate on controlling one's thoughts. Think and Grow Rich and As a Man Thinketh are two such works that I can think of.. Both these publications deal with the fact that everything in life is first started in the mind. Before there can be manifestation in the physical world, there must be a thought preceding it all.

Most people feel that success is out of their control. I agree with this sentiment for the simple fact that most people cannot control the thoughts in their heads. Instead of concentrating on definitive actions that lead to absolute results, people tend to focus on all the negativity. This is also coupled with the fact that the majority of the population prefers to be the victim. They automatically take a mindset that states they are not in control. Someone else is always at fault. This leads to the justification for his or her life.

This is a loser's viewpoint. The truth is that your mind sets the tone for all that you do. You must make concrete choices about what you want. Most fail in life because they truly have no idea what they want. Instead, they drift from day-to-day, week-to-week, never moving in any direction. The successful take a completely opposite approach. They have what Napoleon Hill called 'a burning desire'. Nothing will stand in that person's way. Success is going to be had no matter what. This is the outlook of the successful. Compare that for a second to the previous mindset I mentioned.

As you can see, the mind is a powerful mechanism that can be used to assist or destroy. I believe the default setting is destruction, that is why it is so important to consciously take control. As your mind goes, so will your life.
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Postive Projecting

Yesterday, I wrote about our tendency to project in the worst way possible. Basically, individuals experience an overwhelming fear because of the fact that we tend to look down the road when confronting a situation and consider the worst thing that can happen. Ultimately, this instills fear in us which prevents us from taking action. We see how things will work out in ways that are detrimental to our hopes. In the end, we are paralyzed from doing anything.

My suggestion in that post was to simply stop projecting. If we go negative whenever we look out into the future, then it is best to stop doing that. This will allow us to focus on the present moment and take the action that is in front of us. Fear cannot exist in this environment since the negative thoughts won't be present. Instead, one will act as opposed to being paralyzed.

Now, I am going to go one step further. We will want to use our projecting mechanism again except there is one caveat that I will include. From now on, whenever you look into the future, see everything working out as you planned. Instead of seeing the worst thing possible occurring, picture the best thing. Imagine yourself achieving everything that you want.

What does this outlook do for us? To start, it allows us to visualize the outcome to a situation without experiencing fear. In fact, we ought to get excited about the prospects we are seeing in our minds. Having circumstances resolved in manners that are favorable to us should always get you juiced. Why picture losing money when you can just as easily see yourself gaining? Picturing her saying yes to a date is more appealing then visualizing a 'no'. As you can see, it takes no more effort to focus positively as opposed to negatively.

One thought that often comes to mind is how does one avoid the 'polyanna' thinking which causes one to lose touch with reality? My answer is that anyone who just is starting to put this exercise into practice will not be affected by polyanna thinking since plenty of negativity will still enter into the picture. Changing one's default mindset takes time. This is the last thing that most people need to worry about.

However, thinking about positive outcomes should not cause one to lose focus on reality. You still need to do proper research. Betting on a longshot horse even though you picture it winning might not be the path to success. Neither is throwing money at the stock market without adequate research or asking a married woman out on a date. One needs to still do his or her due diligence in situations before proceeding. However, once you decide what action to take, picture it working out in your favor.
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Fear Elimination

I will give you a 100% foolproof way to eliminate fear. Forget all the books you read. This FREE tidbit that I will give you will revolutionize your life. You will be able to take any action without a negative thought. Put this into practice and you will be part of the elite that succeeds without effort. So, without further ado, here is the secret.

If you want to eliminate fear, stop projecting!!!

It is that simple. Now you have the ability to take action whenever you desire without the fear that anything bad is going to happen. There is nothing that can stop you from achieving everything you desire. The power is in the simplicity.

Let us take a look at projection and what it does to a person's life. Consider for a moment something that you need to do but are putting off. Why are you resisting taking action? The answer is because you project of what the outcome will be. And, if you are like 99.9% of all people walking the planet, your projections are negative.

The bottom line is that whenever we look at a situation, our minds jump to a 'bad case scenario'. In other words, we see it working out in a way that goes against what we desire. Also, the situation gets compounded when we take a 'bad case scenario' and jump to the 'worst case scenario'. We not only see things bad; we picture the very worst thing imaginable happening. This tends to instill fear in us and reduce action.

Now you can see why we need to stop projecting. It is impossible to experience fear if we mentally remain in this moment. Concentrating our focus upon the task in front of us will eliminate looking ahead. Therefore, we will be able to take action without fear of the outcome. Do what is required and let the chips fall where they may. This is a motto of the successful. No great achievements were ever met without action. Fear is the obstacle that is created by projecting.

Here is an example everyone can identify with: the asking of someone out. Why do people see someone they are attracted to yet resist approaching that person. The simple answer is fear derived from projection. Before even saying a word to this person, one gets it in his/her head that rejection will occur. Any positive results are instantly sabotaged by the individual's mind.

Of course, the insanity is that we do not know what the outcome of any situation will be. There is a saying 'contempt prior to investigation' that sums it up for me. Basically, this means that we negatively deem a situation before we even know what is going to occur. Our minds create scenarios based upon nothing. True facts reveal themselves as situations progress yet our minds believe we know what is going to happen. This is not the case.

So, for right now, the best thing you can do in your life is to resist the habit of projecting. Whenever you have something that requires action, just do it. Do not thing about the different outcomes. Take action and let the chips fall where they may.

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Alibis

This is something that has become a national pastime for many. It seems as if everyone has built in alibis as to why things do not progress as they want in their lives. If you ask most people why they do not live the life they want, they will present you with a litany of excuses. Placing blame is something that most are adept at.

I just finished reading "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill. If you have not read this book, I highly suggest it. This is one of the classic personal development texts and one that could change your life simply by adhering to what is contained in there.

Hill dedicates a portion of an entire chapter to the creation of alibis. In fact, he lists 50 that people commonly use. It is amazing to read through the list and see how many I hear on a regular basis. People are 'alibi machines'. They can present a reason for anything that puts the responsibility upon someone else.

The successful do not do this. "Think and Grow Rich" is the result of decades of study of the most successful people in this country at that time. The wealthy approach life differently then everyone else. And, that difference is in how they think about things. Making excuses is the opposite of taking personal responsibility. Those who are successful know how important it is to remain in control.

Did you ever think about the consequences of presently alibis? Do you realize that making excuses reduces your power to nothing? I bet you never thought of this concept but, if you reflect upon it, you will understand how accurate it is.

When I place the blame for a situation on someone else, I am deferring my ability to change the situation. In essence, for change to occur, that person must change. This puts me in a position where I lack the power. Whenever someone else is responsible I am powerless. Consider the situation with a young child. The adult has all the responsibility, thus he or she wields the power. It isnt until this being starts to age that the power structure changes.

Those who exhibit personal responsibility in each situation are the ones who maintain the power. And, this is an easy thing to achieve since most are willing to give it away. When one owns up for all that is transpiring, then that person only need to fix him or herself. The power to change oneself is always available while the power to change another never exists. Resisting the temptation to blame is seeded at the core of this behavior.

Take the time to look at those situations where you present an alibi. Why wasnt something completed as you intended? What is your default answer? Do you automatically go into the 'blame mode' to save face and make yourself look better? Many do this and are quite successful in the short-term. However, this soon becomes a habit which is a detriment to one's personal growth. Success doesnt coordinate with alibis. Success is the result of effort which produces results that are either desired or an opportunity to learn. Presenting alibis is nowhere in the equation.

Remember this tidbit the next time you find yourself making excuses.
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Right Where They Are Suppose To Be

Everyone is exactly where they are suppose to be. This is a fundamental truth of any adult life. Anyone who denies this shows that he or she is a believer in the victim mentality. Sadly, this is the prevalent mindset for the majority of people.

Anyone who is of adult age is not a victim. Children are the exception since they are not in control of their lives. Instead, their existence is predicated upon the choices of others. Adults cannot make this same claim even though they try to do it. This is where the victimization enters the picture.

Personal responsibility mandates that you are the one who makes the decisions in your life. Everything that occurs is a result of choices that you made. Nothing is left to chance. Each situation in your life is a consequence of a decision you made. Simply follow the chain of events backward until you see where you made a decision. It was your decision that created your present circumstances.

This is true for all people. Everyone is exactly where they are suppose to be. The only reason people experience the things they do is because of the decisions they made. If anyone wants anything different, he or she must make a choice to do something different.

People love to blame. They want to point the finger at someone (or something) else to absolve themselves of all responsibility. Their inertia is always the fault of someone else. At the same time, there is always an excuse for any failure in their lives. Of course, this is the mindset of the unsuccessful.

Forget whatever happened to you in your life. Accept the responsibility for the choices you made. It matters none what your upbringing was. So what if you didnt exactly experience a "Norman Rockwell" household; nor did most people. Allowing your childhood, education (or lack thereof), or parents to dictate is playing the victim. And this is where the downfall begins.

We are now a nation of victims. The country is fill of people who believe others are "more fortunate". Through this logic, they are thus less fortunate. With this mindset, you can see how easily it is for one to be a victim. Once again, it is other people's fault.

The truth is exactly the opposite. People are not victims unless they choose to be. Anything that happens in life is because you put yourself in those circumstances. If you want to take control of your life, this is the first thing you must accept. After that, you can start to change if you are willing to. And that is the clincher...if you are willing to.

If you want to change your life, you must be willing to take the action. This begins with reading and study that which you do not know. Your education did not stop with your exiting from school. To many, this will come as news. If you desire to get ahead in this life, then continual study is part of the curriculum. Those who forgo this step doom themselves to the whim of others. This is simply how it is.

Always remember, you are right where you are suppose to be. If you want something different, then you must do something different. Take action and move in another direction. That is the true path to happiness.
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The Ultimate Cost of Procrastination

"Get busy living or get busy dying"

This is a quote from the movie The Shawshank Redemption. Tim Robbins character uttered it to Morgan Freeman's shortly before he broke out of prison. The basic gist was that each of us has a choice to make.

The reason I bring this up today is because I was chatting earlier with someone who lost a friend of hers. This person passed away at the age of 46 of an apparent heart attack. The death was sudden and painless. She met her end many decades before anyone would imagined.

Whenever I come across something like this, I get very reflective. How much time do I have? It is a question that none of us know the answer to. Realistically, today could be the last day for any of us. Life is a crap shoot in this regard. We are allotted a certain amount of time and when it is done, it is done.

The above quite is something that we all should remember on a daily basis. It is baffling to consider how much time we waste since we do believe it to be unlimited. Sure, we all know we are going to die. Nevertheless, most of us presume it will be decades in the future. This allows us to push down the road all the while wasting away the present moments. Our lives are full of "I will do it tomorrow".

There is an old exercise that self help experts put many of their students through. It starts with taking a piece of paper and writing on the top "what would I do if I only had a year to live". The exercise consists of simply answering that question. Imagine yourself with a terminal illness that means you would expire one year from today. How would you spent your remaining time? Contrast this with how it differs from what you presently do on a daily basis. I guarantee you will see a drastic difference between the two of them.

This brings me to everyone's favorite ally...procrastination. Getting back to the person I discussed earlier; do you think there were things she would have liked to do before she departed? If she is like the rest of us, I am sure there was. The same can be said for her loved ones. Each of us has things we would like to experience. However, we get caught up in the daily grind and tell ourselves we will get to it "later". Sadly, for this woman, there is no later. And, in truth, there might not be for us either.

The ultimate cost to procrastination is the sacrifice of your life. Most of us spend our lives busy "dying" that we fail to live. Instead of experiencing joy and happiness on a regular basis, we occupy our time with anger and worry. At the same time, we opt for the path of safety which causes us to miss many of the fruits of life. Fear is our primary motivator causing a life of stagnation. We are walking zombies.

Today is the time to make the decision to live. We all know people who passed on. Make a commitment to their memories to pack all you can into this life. Opt for saying "yes" instead of "no". Go out on a limb on a regular basis and take some chances. Many times you will be rewarded. Make the choice to get busy living.

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Hold Onto Your Dreams

Why do people get bored? What is it that makes them feel that there is no hope? Many feel that life is really mundane. To tell you the truth, when each day is the same as the previous, life can be mundane. There needs to be something more that we all embrace.

Dreaming is something that is natural for us as human beings. As children, we have an overactive imagination. There is nothing that we cannot conceive in our minds. It is a limitless exercise which knows no boundaries. At that age, we are not conditioned to understand how to implement limits. To us, all is possible.

Contrast this with adults. As we mature, we learn to be "realistic". We are taught to assume responsibility and do those things that responsible people do. "Get a job and provide for your family" is the mantra. Dreamers are ridiculed as being unrealistic. In short, our childhood dreams are flushed out of us.

This is something that happens to most of society. It is no wonder that most are unhappy. Their lives are nothing more than a series of compromises of their dreams. Everything that came so naturally as a child is discarded in an effort to be mature. We learn to be realistic in our choices. This means letting go of our dreams.

Fortunately, there is a certain percentage of the population that doesnt subscribe to this mantra. These are the people who are the creators in our world. They hold onto their dreams as a lifeline. Nothing will deter them from what they imagine in their minds. Success is something that they go after in all instances. Life is invigorating since each day is spent in the pursuit of what is truly wanted. Everything is a stepping stone to something larger.

If you are to be truly moved in your life, you need to hold onto your dreams. Resist the temptation to be "mature" by discounting those ingrained desires that you have. There is absolutely no reason why you should settle for anything less that what you truly want. Society teaches us we cannot have it all. That is simply a form of conditioning. You can have it all if you are willing to dream big enough.

"Smallness" is an epidemic in our culture. Most suffer from small thinking. The ability to dream is completely out of practice. Instead, they trudge through each day hoping something different will arise. In the end, nothing ever does. Success in life is only available to those who are willing to go after it. Conforming to society's whims is a guaranteed way to achieve mediocrity. True success comes from living your dreams.

Hold onto them for dear life. They are your lifeline to happiness.
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Change

When does change occur? What is the point that it takes hold and things are different? The answer to these questions is that change takes place in a moment. Regardless how long it takes to get to the point, all change happens the instance we decide to do something differently. This is true no matter what the circumstance.

This is a lesson that anyone who was addicted to drugs or alcohol understands. One will travel down the path of substance abuse until he or she reaches the point where going on is no longer possible. Once one truly avails oneself to the addiction and firmly decides "no more", then the path to recovery commences. However, as long as that person harbors a reservation that he or she can continue as such, the addition will win out. Nothing changes until the decision to quit is made.

All aspects of life are exactly the same. Change occurs at the point on resolves to make it. For example, a weight issue is something that many people battle. Most have endured the yoyo diet where they lose some weight only to put it back on again. The reason this happens is the person does not resolve to change. He or she might opt to follow a different diet plan for a spell which nets results. However, over time, the old behavior is engaged which results in the weight going back on. In the end, no change was made.

Here is something that most do not like to hear: you can change anything in your life. There is nothing that is beyond the capability to alter if you are willing to do it. This process starts with making a true decision. Tony Robbins defines a true decision as "cutting off any other possibility". What this means is that you affirm in your mind that you will reach whatever goal you are setting down for yourself. The change will take place "no matter what".

Ultimately, one needs to get to the point where he or she has had enough. Pain is a wonderful motivator. Many seek to avoid it. Do not fall into this trap. Embrace pain and what it has to offer you. Failing to do so will shortchange yourself. I once heard that we all need 100% of our own pain to make the changes in life that we need to. Until we reach that point, everything is fleeting.

So, have you had enough? Are you tired of being overweight? Is that dead end job finally struck you down to the point where you cant stand another day of it? Are you willing to do whatever it takes to make the necessary changes in whatever areas you desire? Will you do everything you can to make your desires come true? Can you make a "true decision" or are you just continuing to hope?

All change is within your reach. You just need to decide that you want it. When you do, the process is started.
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Live Like You Are Dying

This was a hit song for Tim McGraw a few years back. It is one of those that is really inspirational. Part of the theme is to tell the listener to live like he or she is dying. The reality of things is that is exactly what is happening to each of us. Shakespeare wrote that we start dying the day we are born. Each day brings us one step closer to the end.

I write this not to sound morbid but, rather, to awaken all to the fact that life is short. Nobody wants to look back over his/her life with regret. Yet, most do. How many of us put things off until tomorrow, next week, or next year. The truth is that time may never arrive.

The time to get started is now. Life is passing us by each day. Most of us approach things like we have an eternity. We never know when we will be at the end, thus we feel there is plenty of time. In turn, we put our dreams on hold. Life becomes nothing more than a waiting game.

The successful take a different track. They know that time is a limited resource that is meant to be invested. Instead of wasting each day, put those hours to profitable use. If you want a return on your time, use it wisely. Remember, unlike money, you cannot recoup time that is lost. One it is gone, it is that way forever.

"Live like you are dying". Imprint this motto firmly in your head. Consider the idea of how you would live your life if you found out you only had a year to live. How would plans for tomorrow change? Would you still do the same things that you have planned? Or would you do something different?

My question is how do you know that you do not have only a year to live? None of us are aware when we will be out of time. Getting started on the dreams we have is an ideal approach. Putting everything off until tomorrow is a surefire way to have regret. When you look back over the years, do you want to have a path wrought with I wish and I should have? Or do you want to be able to lay your head down with a smile on your face knowing that you gave it all you had? If you are like most, you want the latter. The way to get this is to live like you are dying.
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