The Desire To Improve

Have you ever thought about what it takes to change? What is it that makes one change successful while another is a miserable failure? How can some people lose 100+ pounds while others cannot get even 20 pounds off? The answer is that it all starts with desire.

12 Step Programs

12 Step programs all across the nature understand this concept. Whether one is talking about addiction to alcohol, drugs, sex, food, or gambling, the effectiveness of these programs revolves around what they term "willingness". The theory is that one will only begin to recover after being yielded willing by whatever the vice is. In other words, did the person receive enough pain to have reached a "bottom".

Obviously this is a personal matter. But, if we translate it to each of us even if not an addicted person, we can see the merits. Why does one lose weight while another fails to do so? Simply, the one who succeeded had the internal desire to achieve the outcome sought. He or she was tired of being the other way. It is only after reaching this point that one can begin the process of change.

Of course, this would also explain why people start yet fail. Perhaps it is a simple as they were not ready. Again, going back to the lessons taught by our addiction therapists, many enter rehab or a 12 step program only to experience a slip backwards. Experts will say the reasoning is the person "simply was not ready to give it up". This lack of willingness led to the downfall.

Again we can bring this same analogy across to whatever behavior we want to focus upon. The only reason why change does not take root is one is attempting something before he or she is ready. There is no other reason for the failure. If this person suffered enough pain through the process of remaining the same, change would be instant. Everything would fall into place ensuring success. Sadly, few, as shown by addicts, ever get to this point.

Increase The Pain

Often the activity we are engaging upon does not have immediate negative results. Taking smoking as an example. Nobody picks up a cigarette for the first time, takes a couple of drags, and drops over dead (unless he or she has an asthma attack). However, we know that long term cigarette use has deadly effects upon the individual. The pain is not immediate but, rather, long term in nature.

Much like the frog in the boiling water, when pain is not immediate and intense, it fails to motivate. If you dont know this story, a frog will literally sit in boiling water and die if you put it in when it is cool and slowly increase the temperature. Drop the frog into water that is already boiling and it will jump out. Nevertheless, a slow increase in temperature is not even notice until it is too late. This parallels how we are as humans.

Thus, we need to increase the pain as quickly as possible. Using the smoking as an example, we know that therapists and counselors have used tactics such as showing pictures of black lung to emphasize the pain in the moment. This helps to bring the future pain to the present moment. Spending time with people who suffer from lung cancer is another "scare" tactic employed to reach the desired end.

Anything that helps one to experience more pain will assist in getting the person to make lasting change. Remember, no pain, no gain. One will not stick with something if it is easier to remain the same. This is true for all change.

Pain versus Pleasure

Which brings us to the final point. Why do we not just increase the pleasure associated with the desired outcome and use that as motivation? Simple. Because that is a failing strategy. Many people have employed that tactic without success. Of course it is easy to picture oneself nice and slim with a fantastic figure. Carrying that mental image is helpful but I would venture to say few who suffer from obesity are motivate much by that. The reason I say this is because they had that image in their head for years and look at the result. It is only after experiencing enough pain that one will take the action necessary for change.

We like to think that we do things for proactive reasons. Sadly, that does not appear to the be human condition. Most people will do a helluva lot more to avoid pain than they will to gain some pleasure. Every Monday, millions of people show up at work because they want to avoid the dreaded situation of having no money to pay their bills. Few will leave a position to pursue something that excites them and instills passion. Instead, they remain locked into a career because the pain of leaving is too difficult. Pleasure is available but pain is the motivator.

Hence, if you are faced with making a change, ramp up the pain factor tenfold. Use whatever mental/psychological tactics necessary to do this. Pain is a tremendous ally. This is what provides us with the desire to improve. Remember, lasting change only occurs after one reaches the point where changing is less painful than remaining the same. Thus, your challenge is to generate enough pain in not changing so that changing is much more attractive. Once this is accomplished, then you will see radical improvement.
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Focusing upon what you can control

There are times when life spins out of control. In fact, when one really considers it, life is always spinning out of control. Most of what occurs around us is outside our realm of influence. Things just happen that have nothing to do with our abilities nor dedication. The phrase "s**t happens" certainly applies.

Accepting Things We Cannot Change

The Serenity Prayer has a phrase in it that is one of the keys to happiness. The line "accept the things I cannot change" is stated in recovery programs all over the world. It is a statement that helps addicts (i.e. chronic malcontents) handle the emotional rigors of daily life. Also, egomaniacs tend to think they can handle everything, which is absolutely untrue. Since most things are outside the realm of our influence, it is senseless to spend emotional energy on it. Yet this is exactly what most people do.

Another line from that same prayer that prayer is "grant me the courage to change the things I can". Here is another area that the majority of people screw up in a big way. While they do not know the bounds of what they can affect, they often overlook those areas that they can. In turn, they live life in a completely backwards way.

For example, consider how much time people spend fretting about what is going on at the upper levels of government. Here is an instance where one is completely powerless over what is going on. Sure, one could join a particular organization which promotes an agenda or influences change. If one does this, he or she is operating in a way that might make an impact. Nevertheless, few do this. Instead they expend emotional energy getting upset at what politicians are doing. In short, it is a total waste of time. Nothing is ever accomplished doing this.

Ergo, it is crucial to determine exactly where we need to focus our attention.

Let The Chips Fall Where They May

This is another saying that I find holds truth. People who have the ability to "let the chips fall where they may" find they enjoy a lot more success in life. Most tend to underachieve because of the simple fact they are too busy trying to dictate outcomes. The reality in life is that it is impossible to focus upon an outcome. Instead, we need to concentrate upon what action is required and taking that action.

Result occur because of the efforts put in. I was in a sales organization run by a man who didnt have a sales background. At the end of every gathering, he would tell everyone that we needed to sell more (a common statement). This showed a gross misunderstanding of how things are. People do not go out and make sales since a sale is a result. What people do is go our make sales calls, presentation, demonstrations, and proposals. In short, a salesperson needs to focus upon the actions that lead up to the sale, not the sale itself.

The same approach is utilized to losing weight, as an example. A person who focuses upon losing 20 pounds is doomed from the start. The proper method is to concentrate upon the activity that equates to weight lose. Special attention needs to be given to the diet program that is followed. At the same time, exercise is am important variable that cannot be overlooked. When actions of this nature are taken, weight loss will result. A person focuses upon the action and lets the chips fall where they may.

Do What Is In Front Of You

A simple way to focus one's attention upon those areas where he or she does have influence is to do whatever is there in the present moment. In other words, just do whatever task is at hand. I realize that I am going contrary to time management experts here but most people have a big problem in handling the simplest of tasks. Taking no action is more common than taking the wrong action. Hence, just do whatever is at hand in that moment.

Few people realize that life is lived on a daily basis. Whatever needs accomplishing should be done. Changing the world begins at home. In addition, changing your life starts with the next action you are going to take. Developing the ability to act on a consistent basis to achieve a desired result is an invaluable trait. This is even more powerful when one can operate from this premise while the world around him or her is collapsing.

In closing, focusing upon what you can control means affecting those areas of your life which actually can result in progress. The world is an out of control place with you as one of 6+ billion inhabitants. If you spend your time worrying about what everyone else is doing, the result will be a lackluster and unfulfilled life. Instead, pinpoint your concentration upon those activities which are right in front of you. Do not look for results, simply actions. Results are produced as a byproduct of your actions. Remember this the next time you want to jump to the conclusion. Your life down the road is affected by the choice you make right now as to the next action you will take. Make it a worthwhile choice.
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Change

Change is something that always happens in a moment. Unfortunately, it often takes a long time to get to the moment. People will hold onto old behavior until it reaches the point where change must occur. Until this moment arrives, the same pattern follows.

Pain is the most powerful motivator in life. There are two states: pleasure and pain. However, when it comes to altering behavior, pain is the state which will cause one to alter actions. As much as we like to believe we do things for proactive reasons, the truth is that to make it lasting, pain needs to be involved to the nth degree.

Losing weight is a prime example. It is no secret that eating junk food, not exercising, and carrying around rolls of fat will shorten one's life expectancy. The medical community has warned about this for decades. In fact, it is not uncommon to see people working in this field, those who should be in the know, who also fit the mold of obese. Yet, they do nothing about it.

Why is that? The reason is that pleasure, the idea of being healthier, thinner, living longer, is not enough to get one to put down the cookies and go workout. It is only after one gets an "awakening" in the form of pain that he or she will do something about it. Before that, habits simply take over.

So, what is the point of all this? My view is that one can be proactive about change. Most people tend to resist it. Sadly, this is a way to unhappiness since life is not static. The nature of the world we live in is that it changes. Those who attempt to remain the same tend to lose ground. Things move in a forward direction whether we want them to or not. Those who resist this tend to live in unhealthy states. Consider the mother who always picture a child as "her little boy" (or girl). Reality is that kids grow up and holding onto is not a healthy state. Change is inevitable and we either embrace it or get run over by it.

Therefore, we need to embrace the pain that we experience. Why? Because this is the foundation of our ability to change. We can alter what we do in an instance....we just need a powerful enough motivator. Pain offers that.

I see so many who are locked in to their present state without hope of change. The reason I know this is because they have settled. People of this ilk are not even unhappy. They just are listless. It is a state many of us find ourselves in periodically. However, it is crucial that we get out of that. We need to realize that life can offer us a lot. The only factor is that we get unhappy about something. This shows passion and desire. Those who settle lack these important components.

Change is good. It is a result that comes after experiencing frustration, anger, and hurt. It is only after having enough of something that we are willing to do something about it. Ponder the weight loss situation for a moment to get a good visual. Only after having enough, will one get off the sofa and go workout. Proactive reasons aside, vanity or fear are often the motivators in this instance. Nevertheless, it is effective.

Being someone who seeks out change sets one in the minority. To be honest, most get run over by the circumstances in their lives. They resist change until it is too late. Many buy into the saying "you cant teach an old dog new tricks". This is inaccurate. One is never too old to change and no habit to ingrained that it cannot be altered. Sure it takes effort, persistence, and work. But that is what separates those who live a growing, expanding life from those who settle for what is offered. Change and the ability to deal with it are at the core.

All change starts with a decision. It is the mindset that "I am no longer going to accept this in my life" that instigates the process. The choice to lose weight is what precedes the exercising and healthier eating. Everything we decide to do differently is concluded in the mind. After that, action follows.

The biggest obstacle in achieving lasting change is overcoming the old habit while instilling a new one. People tend to live their lives on autopilot. Therefore, the unconscious action will always overcome the conscious one. Why? Because we do not have to think to do things that we do without thinking. Unconscious habits are difficult to break. The key is to break them and make the empowering actions habit. This can take some time. It is at this point that one must be persistent in the endeavor. However, it is the only way to change our lives.
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Create Change

Most people look for change to happen in their life. They sitting around waiting for things to be different. This is a common occurrence among people. Instead of taking proactive steps towards implementing change in their lives, they magically hope that something will be different next week, next month, or next year. Life is spent always looking forward with hope.

The only constant in the world is change. However, people rarely embrace this concept. Rather, they look for ways to keep things the same. This creates a terrible habit when one is in dire need of creating a new life. The status quo can be the enemy of most. Living life on the continual merry-go-round when one is unfulfilled is death.

I often say that life is a contact sport. One must be active to be successful. Creating change in one's life is a way of taking control. Proactive always beats reactive. You must be the driving force in your life.

Humans are creatures of habit. Each week is basically a carbon copy of the week before. After a while, we are able to put our blinders on and proceed through our day. We awaken at the same time, take the same path to work at the same job, return the same way, and go to be at roughly the same time. This is the routine for the largest percentage of the population. Any wonder why people are bored with their lives.

It is time for you to start becoming one who creates change in your life. The best way to go about this is to start doing something different. It matters none how big or small the action is. The important factor is that you begin to create new results. I find that making lots of little changes ultimately adds up to a different life path. Make 1,000 changes in your life over the next 30 days and you will notice a substantial difference.

The clock is ticking. Now is when you need to get after your life. Let nothing stand in your way.
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Implementing Change

Change is something that few people embrace. The comfort zone is a powerful mechanism whether we are referring to personal development or implementing new methods into the workplace. Resistance is common. Overcoming it is imperative if success is to follow.

According to Harold Stolovitch, professor at the University of Montreal, there are three areas which we need to focus upon.

1. Novelty:

In general, we like novelty when it is not a great disruption to our lives. We will try a new restaurant, travel a different route, or read something in a different genre. However, we resist the major changes which stay with us. This is the novelty we resist.

Nowhere is this more evident than in the workplace. Major changes in procedures tend to throw an entire organization off. We find productivity decreases even if the changes are of benefit.

The solution: reduce the novelty by implementing things where the people feel a strong sense of control. Give them some input into the implementation process.

2. Complexity:

People resist that which they do not understand. The success rate diminishes the more complicated something is. Most need to know only the basics to utilize something. Technology is a prime example which often scares people. Reduce the fear by making everything as simple and as possible.

3. Abstractness:

How does this apply to me? This is something that each person asks themselves whenever we are confronted with something new. Any changes need to be explained in a manner that the individual knows how it pertains to them. For example, a shift in policy that the VPs understand might not translate to the custodial staff. To be effective, the implementation needs to include a benefit to each individual.

Too many ideas operate in the abstract world. They make sense on paper but not to the people who really matter. Be sure to connect the larger concept with the individual that is being asked to change.

These three ideas will help to reduce the resistance to change. Implement it both at work and in your personal life. If there are some changes you need to make, and are resisting, look at these three areas. Adopt these ideas and you will make those changes easily.
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The Little Changes

I meet lots of people who want to change their life. They finally get to the point where they are not happy with how things are transpiring. Getting past the tendency to blame, they want to take personal responsibility for the course that life follows. That being said, they want to focus on making the major changes which can instantly transform things. This works in many instances. However, often there is a better way.

The desire to move, change jobs, get into/exit a relationship, or travel to a far away land all have a large impact. Each of this will set one's life in a different direction. Nevertheless, for many, these are not the steps one needs to take.

Most can radically alter their life if they are willing to make minor changes. This is a secret that is mostly overlooked. Small differences in behavior will offer a major impact down the road. This process is enhanced when one seeks to make many changes of this magnitude.

Health is an area that is viewed as a long term proposition. It also is the perfect example of how small changes have a large impact. What is the difference in your life if you started walking for 15 minutes everyday? Over a 20 years time period, it would be great. The same is true for eating fruit early in the morning. The positive effect long term is great.

This concept applies to all areas of your life. Look for those actions which seem minor. The benefit of focusing upon these activities is that it is easy to succeed. Also, the time invested is usually small. Spending 5 minutes a day doing something that will provide a tremendous difference in the quality of your life is a fantastic trade-off.

Begin today developing a list of changes you can make immediately. You need not choose a different career path. What are 5 activities that will profoundly affect you? Here are some examples:

-stretch daily
-return unanswered phone calls
-clean up your workspace
-drink 8-10 glasses of water a day
-work out 4 times per week
-clean out your car
-read a book for 1 hour a night

How many more can you come up with? There are thousands of actions which will alter your life. Individually, the impact might not be that large. However, the total effect will be. Begin taking some control today.
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Steps To Handling Any Task

This is a guaranteed method that will get you to overcome procrastination while taking action that is needed. Many allow their minds to deter them from moving forward. They have a tendency to project into the future while seeing negative results. This can include the proverbial “making a mountain out of a mole hill”. We often focus on how large the task is in front of us. Rarely do we recognize the fact that it usually is not as bad as we made it out to be.

The hardest part about any activity is getting started. Physics teaches us that it takes the most energy to get something moving from a stationary position. It takes more fuel to get a commercial airplane off the ground than it does to keep it in the air. The same principle applies to you. Getting yourself to take action is harder then continuing once you started.

So how do we get started? Follow these three steps to see a noticeable increase in your productivity.

1. Make a list of all the steps needed to complete the project.

2. Choose three from the list that are the simplest and easiest to complete

3. Do those things immediately

This will get you to take action. Many teach handling the hardest item first. This is applicable of one does not have an ongoing battle with procrastination. However, for those who deal with this foe, it is best to get started somehow. Selecting that which can be easily handled will help overcome this. Then, once you are going, it becomes a bit easier to continue. Try this the next time you are putting something off.

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5 Ways To Improve Your Day

Here are 5 simple ideas that can implemented immediately to change the routine that you are stuck in. Doing all of them will completely alter your present outlook.

1. Get Up Earlier In The Morning:

The tone for our day is set within the first hour we are awake. Most people are awaken by the alarm clock, hit snooze until they must get up, get ready for work, and run out the door. This begins out day in a frantic state.

An easy way to change this is to get up an hour earlier in the morning. Utilize this time to read, think, or work on your goals. Spent these quiet moments working on enriching yourself. Beginning your day at a relaxed pace better prepares you to deal with the circumstances will arise later on. Hence your first hour is spent productively.

2. Spend Some Time In Nature:

This is not to say that you need to go hiking in the Rockies although that is a wonderful idea. Our generation spends most of its time inside. We rush from building to building never taking in the beauty around us. Nature is a marvelous mechanism if we will only that the time to enjoy it.

A simple way to do this is to take a walk around your neighborhood. Get outside and look at the wonders in the sky. Consider how big it all really is. How far away is the sun or the stars that you see up there? This really changes our perspective. Notice all the creatures that you see. Each of them is a living being existing in the same universe as you. Connect with that side of yourself.

3. Disconnect From Technology:

We live in the information age. With text and instant messaging, Blackberries, Ipods, the Internet, and a host of other devices, we are available all the time. Change things up by turning all that stuff off. You will find that it is not as easy as it seems. We have gotten to the point where our technologies are a connection.

Plan one day to “remove” yourself from the available list. Let the world progress without you. Take a timeout from all the news and reports of what is transpiring. It will all be there when you log back on. Use this time to recharge your batteries. Find someone you care about and interact with them at a heartfelt level. They will appreciate your uninterrupted attention.

4. Move Some Furniture Around:

This is a basic technique which will instantly make things feel different. Choose a room that you spend a lot of time in and move the furniture around. This will give you a completely different perspective on the room. Perhaps you can arrange it so that you are sitting on the other side of your loved one. You will find that you will have to momentarily think of where things are. The unconscious pattern of movement throughout the room is broken. For a few weeks, the room and your life will have a different feel.

5. Set A Spectacular Goal

This is guaranteed to get the juices flowing. Decide on something truly spectacular that you want to accomplish in your life. Perhaps you want to visit all 7 continents, write a book, travel into space, or solve a worldwide problem. Whatever the goal is, make it really big. This lifts your thinking to a much higher level then you normally operate at.

In addition to setting the goal, which needs to be in writing, take three steps to start the process. Immediately begin taking action to work towards its' attainment. This will allow you to develop momentum that can carry you forward. You will notice a new level of excitement within you. The old routine is instantly smashed by the pursuit of a special goal.
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