The Power Of Sharing

I had a friend of mine call me this morning about a personal situation that he is going through. Over the last couple of years, he has turned to me as a "personal" adviser on his life matters. Currently, he is facing job uncertainty in addition to enduring a financial situation that him and his wife created for themselves. In short, he is facing having to go bankrupt over the choices they made.

Today, he was in the ringer over all that is happening. Fear is starting to take control to the point where he is at the end of his rope. Most of us can identify. We all get to that point occasionally. The important thing is what we do when we get there.

My friend is advancing in his growth. Over the last few years, he has learned many of the techniques I write about. Of course, we all need a reminder course periodically. Knowing what to do and remembering what to do are two different things.

We talked for about 40 minutes. One of the most insightful things he said was that just talking about it made him feel better. Sometimes, it is not so much what is said as long as conversation takes place.

When we are confronted with difficulties, either real or imagined, the worst thing to do it to entertain our thoughts. Our minds have a tendency to run freely when we are in this state. It is a dangerous place to be. Sharing with another helps us to get things out on the table. Suddenly, we feel less alone.

Emotions serve as a magnifying force. They cloud sound thought. Whenever we are emotionally charged about something (especially with fear), we really need the clarity that another can provide. It is a simple fact that I can offer solutions easier in those situations that I am not emotionally involved in. This is true for most people. Take a situation, think about it, and add a bit of negative emotion and you have a recipe for disaster.

It takes courage to share with another. Allowing someone else into our thoughts is a scary proposition. We are then vulnerable. There is a risk of that person judging us. We have to swallow our pride and admit that "we cannot handle it all". That is okay. The truth is that nobody can handle all that life serves up alone and anyone who claims they can is a liar. We all need someone we can fall back upon.

So, the next time you are in a bind, find someone to share with. You will be amazed how therapeutic it is.
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Successful Outlook

The last few days, I wrote a lot about thinking. I believe this is the singlemost important factor in success. Everything that we are comes from the thoughts that we consistently hold. In fact, all that we experience is nothing more than what we think about a particular situation.

Focus is what makes the difference. It is what we focus upon that determines the direction that our life goes in. Too many people choose to concentrate upon the fear in their life. They picture how things can go wrong. That is their consistent focus.

Want to make a radical shift in your life? Change what you choose to focus upon. Instead of looking at all the negativity, think continually about good things. I wrote the other day about positive expectations. Successful people concentrate their thoughts on how things are going to turn out in their favor. The rest always look at how things will go wrong.

Is fear running your life? If so, stop focusing upon it. Think of all the successes you had thus far. Everyone, no matter where they presently are, had a great deal of success. We come into this world naked and helpless. As the decades pass, we learn a great deal about the world around us. This is where knowledge comes from. Our life experiences are what makes us smarter, and stronger.

So, if you had a rough go of it, get excited. It means that you are capable of handling so much. Give yourself some credit. There are lots of things that you can do right now that others cannot. We all have had our share of successes.

A successful outlook is the most important trait to maintain. People who are hopeless choose to focus upon all that is wrong in their life. It is sad to witness because it need not be that way. It is a choice that person makes. Be one who takes control of your thoughts.

In my working with others, I have come across people who have endured it all. The fact of life is that bad things often happen to good people. It is not what happens to us that makes the difference; rather it is how we handle it that is important. No matter how bad you have it, someone else has it worse. Remember this the next time you want to engage in the negative thinking.

The bottom line is that you will be alright. Life need not be this overwhelming thing that is made to be endured. You are free to choose how much you choose to enjoy it. Focus your attention on all the good things that are going to come to you in the future. Happiness and success is just around the corner if you believe it. Of course, so is pain and misery if you choose that door. The choice is yours.

Today, choose to have a successful outlook. The rest of your life is going to be a wonderful masterpiece.
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