This is one of the most powerful questions that you can ask yourself. It is the foundation for emotional maturity. Being in control is what allows us to get through the day-to-day ups and downs of life. Those who "lose it" tend to fail in their different endeavors.
Much of life depends upon our interpersonal skills. Getting along with others is paramount for success. Maturity is being able to progress forward even when things are not going your way. Here is a fact of life: things will go wrong. You will not always come up on the winning side. Yet, persevering is one of the fundamental qualities of success.
How often do you fly of the handle only to forget about it a few hours later? This seems to be a fairly common tendency. Many will get upset when the smallest thing does not go in their favor. I remember once a friend telling me how he totally lost it over some oil spilling in his driveway. His outrage occurred in front of his neighbors and daughter. How important was it really? Was it that big a deal that it was worth risking his relationship with these people? In light of what happened, probably not. Even though the neighbors still talk with him, I am sure they now look at him a bit differently. This affects his relationship with them.
Lack of emotional control is something that is a result of not asking this question. There are many times throughout the day that I ask "how important is it". When I get candid with myself, the answer is usually "not very important". In the grand scheme of things, getting upset over many of the trivial things we confront each day just is not worth it. The price we pay is too great.
Stress is one of the leading causes of medical problems in this generation. People are too stressed out. We take everything too seriously because of the need to operate at light speed. Slowing down is not part of our agenda. Instead, we all try to be the prototypical type A personalities. Do Do Do. That is our motto. We have our fancy planners and lists which we must complete. Failure is simply not an option. As time goes by, we assume more responsibility, thus increasing the pressure.
This leads to success. And, that person is the most successful person in the cemetery. How important is it? Ponder that question for a while. Of all the things that you do each day, how important is it really? Take your work for example. If you do not get something done, will the company collapse. Perhaps but not likely. How many of us are so important that our careers are going to be remembered centuries from now? I hope all of my readers are at that level but, again, not likely. The truth is that much of what we fret over is really not important.
There is a saying "in a week we will laugh about this". This is so true. Think back to the last situation that you "lost it" over. How do you feel about that situation now? Was it worth acting like a total jackass in front of others (if you did that)? I would surmise it was not. Few of us are in positions where anything is at that urgent a level.
Learn to let things go. Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy? Many, by their actions, want to be right. This leaves them extremely unhappy. The world is not a just place. Understanding this simple idea will make your life a lot easier. Let the minor injustices go. At the same time, cut yourself some slack for the humanness you have. If you did not get something done today, that is alright. Tomorrow is a new day.
Relax and remember "how important is it".
Share and Enjoy!
3/08/2009
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