Everyone wants to be trusted. It is something that many crave without even being aware of it. In fact, the majority of people believe they are trustworthy. And in some regards they are. However, there are many ways in which they are not.
It begins with how we view trust. In other words, what is our basic definition of trust. I would say that most look at it as being honest. They are trustworthy because they will not steal from you. I believe this makes them honest, not necessarily trustworthy. Nevertheless, for their definition, they are trustworthy.
To me, being trustworthy means being able to be depended upon. Not stealing my dvd player is a good start but it goes much deeper than that. If I am to trust someone, that person needs to show the ability to do what is promised. I believe that each day we make unwritten contracts with each other. Unfortunately, most break these contracts with their actions. These are the people who I believe are untrustworthy.
What is the top quality that endears trust? Consistency. When someone is consistent, they are predictable. This is something that is not held in high esteem by most of society. Yet, it is the easiest way to garner the trust of another. Be consistent in your actions. Those who are "all over the place" make people uneasy since they never know what to expect. Emotional control is a great predictor of the ability for one to perform.
Another factor I find extremely important is one who consistently does what he or she says. Keeping your word is another quality that is not emphasized like it was in the past. There was a time when "your word is your bond". Now, many will make statements without giving any thought as to whether the action will be completed.
Nothing frustrates me more then when someone tells me they will call me back after a meeting and they fail to do so. This is where I quickly size people up. Those who cannot keep a simple commitment such as this also tend to show up late for things. They are continually falling short on projects while missing deadlines. Overall, they tend to be all over the place with everything.
These people are not trustworthy to me. They lack any basic consistency to their life or our interaction. It matters little whether we are referring to a friendship, business, or romantic relationship. The same standard applies. When one is consistent in their actions as compared to their words, then I find them to be trustworthy. Those who do not, are not.
Consider your daily life. Are you consistent in what you do? Do you seek to fulfill your unwritten promises you made to another? Or do you say things while doing something completely different? The answers to these questions will tell you if others trust you or not. People who live their life in a haphazard manner usually are not trusted. This might be an eye-opener to you but it is reality. You might not be as trustworthy as you believe. If you aren't, focus on being more consistent in all that you do.
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