5/21/2009

Why The Anger?


Have you ever noticed how people carry around anger with them for years? There are those who want to carry things with them eternally. We see this with political people on television. This also arises when one refers to an ex. It always baffles me how bitter people are even decades later. Makes you wonder if the payoff the person is experiencing is worth the grief it causes.

Why are people so angry? It is crucial to remember that anger is the way that people typically mask fear. When they are angry, they are really covering for a fear they have. Throwing themselves into a stage of rage often is how they believe they are maintaining control. Of course, watch someone in this state and you will see how out-of-control they really are.

Anger comes out in many ways. One of the most common is in the form of negativity. We all have encountered those people who are pessimistic about everything. No matter how things are progressing, they will find the dark cloud. It is as if they go out of their way to find fault with everything.

Naturally, we find these people rarely experience moments of happiness. People who want enjoyment in life choose not to seek all the negative that exists. Here is a simple truth: everyone has bad circumstances. Nobody is exempt from the ups and downs of life. The difference is in how people respond to the situations they encounter.

Take the example of the person who is still sore at an ex-spouse after a decade of more. When is that person going to let it go? The sad truth is probably never (unless he or she is reading this). Holding onto a resentment plants the seeds of death. It is impossible to be happy when one harbors such hatred.

The bottom line is that many people had rotten parents, got into bad marriages, had bosses who were jerks, or were fired through no fault of their own. Get over it. Being angry at something that happened in the past is what children do. Yet, they have the uncanny ability to wipe the slate clean as soon as the next television show comes on. They let bygones be bygones.

Anger only offers the illusion of working. The bottom line is that the one who is angry is the one to suffer. Rarely is the one who is the target of the anger affected. However, the one who chooses to get angry always suffers.

A large part of my journey into growth was to overcome the deep-seeded hatred and anger I had for people and past situations. Certainly I was wronged many times. In fact, there are still circumstances where I get the short-end of the stick without provocation. Yet, at the end of the day, it is not worth getting upset over. My life is within my control. I refuse to allow someone else to occupy too much space in my head. This removes the natural inclination to devise schemes to get revenge. I move on with my life while learning a lesson.

Remember, anger kills.
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