Feel Good

In the last few posts, I asked you what you wanted in life.  This is a theme which will be recurring throughout all future posts.  The fundamental fact is that in life, you cannot attain anything unless you know what it is that you want.  Sadly, most people allow live to dictate to them what that is as opposed to consciously deciding for themselves.  It is time to alter that.

Goals

People are taught the importance of goal setting.  I agree with this practice.  However, I want to clarify it somewhat.  Most will tell you to sit down and figure out your goals.  Of course, we all heard they need to be in writing, stated in the positive, and come with a deadline.  This is another well known concept which few people fail to implement.  Again, this means that life steps in to create our outcomes for us. 

The problem with establishing a large number of goals is most people have no idea why they want what is put down on paper.  For example, a common goal is a luxurious house.  While this can be a fantastic goal, it does not come without its own set of problems.  Have you ever considered the taxes and insurance on a multi-million dollar estate?  How about the upkeep and maintenance?  And forget about the "at home" feel; that isnt possible in 7,000 square feet.  Therefore, while the house is nice, is it something that you really want when you consider all that goes along with it?

What I just described is why so many people achieve their goals yet feel unfulfilled.  I often caution people to be mindful of the goal they are chasing and make sure they are chasing the right one.  Too often people are going after the wrong prize; something realized only after it is achieved.  The "is this all there is" syndrome enters the picture at this point.

Therefore, we need to pay special attention to each and every goal we establish.  In addition, it is also prudent to look at all the activities in our lives because there is a good chance that most of what we do ties into an unnamed goal that live gave us.  Remember, in absence of us consciously choosing a desired outcome, life will create outcomes for us by default.

Feel Good

The bigger question that arises is "what do people really want".  Consider the house for a moment.  Did the person really want a piece of real estate that was constructed out of concrete and wood?  Not likely.  What is desired if the feeling the house will provide.  That is what is behind each and every goal.  It is the feelings we attribute to the item which makes it desirable.  That is why middle aged men go out and by European sportscars.  It is the feeling of recapturing their youth (and vitality) that makes it attractive.

Basically, when you break it all down, we simply want to feel good.  This sounds simplistic but it is a fundamental part of our makeup.  Everything we seek is done as a means to making ourselves feel good.  While I will grant people often take action to avoid certain feelings, like pain, the outcome is they hope to feel better.  Therefore, when looking at goals, it is crucial to understand it is not the items but the feelings behind them we seek.  Thus, we should pay close attention to how that outcome will fit into our lives or we risk attaining the item while missing the feeling.

Another piece to this puzzle is that, realistically, the goal is not required to feeling the emotion we seek.  Regardless of your present circumstances, it is possible to feel any emotion you desire.  It is simply a matter of putting yourself in that state.  And that is a key insight into success in life.  Take control of your emotional state as opposed to allowing it to control you.  If you need something outside of yourself to feel fulfilled, you will most likely lead an empty life.  There is never enough "out there" to fill what is lacking within you.

Thus, I would say simply work on feeling good.  Concentrate your efforts on achieving this state throughout the day as often as you possible can.  One way to attain this end is through music.  What the reason, music has a way of instantly altering our emotional state.  Who does not feel a shift (and empowerment) when listening to Chariots of Fire?  This song reaches into the soul and lifts it up instantly.  Many other songs do the same thing.  Utilize this resource as a means of taking over your emotional state.

One final thought about the idea of feeling good.  It is best to focus upon reaching this state as much as possible because it is when you feel good you will attract the same into your life.  It is common sense to understand that happy people do not want to hang out with unhappy people.  Ironically, but not surprisingly, the reverse is also true.  Miserable people do not want to interact with those who have smiles on their face.  Remember the old adage: misery loves company.  I found this to be true.  Therefore, it is best to feel good as much as possible so you will attract into your life those who feel the same.  If you find you are surrounded by a bunch of miserable people, perhaps it is time to look at yourself.


In closing, have fun today and feel good as much as you can.
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