There Are Always Opportunities

"Feelings Aren't Facts"

We all have setbacks in life. There are times when things do not go our way. Sadly, it seems that the events during these times pile up. They say that things happen in threes. Most of us understand this from experience. It seems when something goes wrong, everything goes wrong. The snowball effect has been felt by all of us.

It is during these times where we can allow our feelings to get in the way. It is easy to feel bad when things are falling to pieces around us. Depression, anxiety, fear, and other emotions (all negative) can arise within us. Unfortunately, we assume a position of powerlessness when we allow these things to take hold of us. The truth is that feelings are not facts.

Many will try to disprove this statement but it not possible. Feelings only serve as a guide. However, it is up to each of us how we process what we experience. There are always two choices: become paralyzed or motivate ourselves to move forward. Whatever the situation, these are always the two choices we are confronted with.

Another fact of life is there are always opportunities in front of us. This is an difficult concept to remember when one is mired in the emotional abyss that can result from horrific life circumstances. Nevertheless, this does not diminish this age old truth. A common occurrence of the last few years is where one finds his/her world turned upside down due to a job loss. Millions of people were put out of work with scarce chance of finding equal replacement employment. Naturally, this creates a host of emotions within a person.

I once heard a motivational speaker get excited when one of the audience members mentioned losing her job the day before. He said "That is wonderful. Now you have 360 degrees of possibilities before you". Obviously, it all comes down to our perception of things. This individual saw the opportunities for this person to move forward.

And that is the main point of this post. It is time for each of us to move forward. There is nothing that should hold us back. Sure, there are times when things occur which are not to our liking. Nevertheless, we are able to choose how things affect us. Are we motivated to move forward or do we want to dwell in the emotional negativity that naturally arises from such events? Those who are successful in life are able to recognize that life happens. Because of this, they take the action that is needed to move forward. Feelings tend to only hold us back since we are apt to listen to them like they were factual. In reality, life does not care how you feel. It judges us by the action we take. In the end, the only challenge in life is to get ourselves to move forward. Change is inevitable. The only way to deal with it is to concentrate upon that which needs our attention. Projection only hinders especially in times like these.

One final note: the greatest of success stories rarely emerged from ideal conditions. This is true whether we look at sports, business, health, or any other facet of life. The successful start from where they are at and take action. Those who play the waiting game ultimately end up stuck in neutral. There are only some many moments on this planet. It is time to get busy.

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Commit or Recommit

Only people who are committed to something succeed at it.

Ponder this statement for a few minutes. When you consider it, the only way to succeed is to completely commit to something. Anything less than that means one's chances are diminished greatly. The examples we can look to keep arriving at this same conclusion.

The top athletes in a particular sport are where they are because of the commitment to that activity. This same idea is true for concert pianists, authors, and airplane pilots. Anything that a person excels at required hours upon hours of practice. People might be born with the natural talent yet time invested is still needed to reach a level of excellence. For every person who excels, there are countless others who were born with the same talent but did not have the commitment to achieve greatness.

Commitment is a vital component in all areas of our lives. Take relationships as an example. People who enjoy 40 or 50 years of marriage only do so because they are committed to each other and the relationship. These people have the same issues as everyone else. Nevertheless, they overcome the challenges because of the desire to succeed.

We see the same thing in the area of physical fitness. Everyone who works out has times when they want to be lazy. It takes motivation and drive to get to the gym even when you do not feel like it. It is also true that sticking with a healthy diet is often difficult. It is a fact of life there are times the ice cream or jelly donut are calling us. It is commitment to a healthy lifestyle that allows one to resist the temptation and stay the course.

Life is difficult at times. Every path has its own set of obstacles. It is commitment that allows us to keep pushing forward even when the route is hard. Those who have what I call a "wishy-washy" attitude will quit at the first hindrance. This is what separates the successful from the unsuccessful.

Therefore, it is time to commit. If you are not excelling in a certain area, take a look at the commitment you have to it. Many people struggle at work. Delve into how much effort you put in there to succeed. Are you committed to excelling in that career (company) or are you just there for the paycheck? If it is the later, look at either moving to another position or, at least, finding something bigger to latch onto there.

Sometimes we need to recommit to what is important to us. We all can lose our way as the trials and tribulations mount. Our priorities get screwed up periodically and, after a while, it is noticeable. So, if the flat stomach now looks more like a spare tire, perhaps it is time to recommitting to living a healthy lifestyle that includes more exercise and less calories. Whatever the area of hangup, take a look at your commitment level and seek to increase it. Oftentimes, this is the only piece that is missing. It is incredible what is possible once you fully commit to something.
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The Here And Now

We have all heard that life is meant to be lived in the present moment. There are many books on the market referring to the "Power of Now" and how present focus is the only way to reach fulfillment. Many eastern philosophies teach this concept as a basis of their discipline.

Without getting into any of the specifics, this outlook holds a great deal of weight. Most people miss their entire lives because of the fact they are always "off somewhere else". Human beings tend to be masterful projectors in the sense that we are usually looking ahead to some future point in time. Sadly, when we do this it is associated with the emotion termed "worry". This is because people tend to project in the negative. What I mean by this is that when we look ahead, we often envision the situation resolving itself in a negative manner.

If we want to look at this in the nth degree, we need only to notice how people approach the afterlife. Most of the world's religions contain the promise of some form of eternal salvation after death. Of course, to achieve this, there are a series of things that one must do before attaining this status. Therefore, it is beneficial to consider all the time and money spent by individuals and groups in an effort to attain something that has never be proven to exist.

In this instance, people cease looking at the here and now and concentrate their efforts on a mystical time after death. My outlook is one where we only have a certain number of hours on this planet so why waste it on something that is not guaranteed. Of course, the religionists will have my head for making that statement but it is factual. What I can guarantee is that you have this life on this planet right now. That is for certain and it is up to you to determine how you live it.

Time is a creation of man. If we look at other species in the Animal Kingdom we realize they do not operate under the same parameters. Can you picture a cat worrying about when it will die? How absurd. Death is something that is promised to every living thing. Yet humans, with our profound wisdom and advanced intelligence are the only living creature that fears death. Thus we spend a great deal of time trying to alter that reality.

My point is that now is the only time you have. Happiness and fulfillment is found in the moment. What are you doing today? Are you even in today or is your mind off worrying about something in the future or regretting something you did in the past? Guilt and worry are two emotions that people spent a lot of time engaged in which are a total waste. Like the old saying goes "you cant change the past and the future is not here yet". In other words, those two aspects of time really mean little. The present is what is truly important.

So, how do we apply this? It all starts with being present focused. Concentrate your mind upon the tasks that you are presently doing. Whatever you are engaged upon, enjoy it to the maximum. That is where life's rewards are found. It is interesting to note that when we are truly engaged in something, time ceases to mean anything. We simply are wrapped up in the moment. Sex is an activity where many tend to lose themselves (perhaps I should say good sex). The feelings experienced override any concept of time.

The world offers many wonderful pleasures at each moment. If one is mindful enough to appreciate what exists, life can take on a new meaning. Most spend their days looking forward to another time. How often do we meet people who are looking forward to retirement. Of course, when we meet people who are at the point, they are continually looking back at "the good ole days". This shows how people remove themselves from the present moment which creates dissatisfaction.

Another old axiom is that there is no guarantee for tomorrow. Many will go to bed tonight only to not wake up tomorrow. This past week both Steve Jobs and Al Davis passed away. Their hours on this planet expired. Where did they go, if anywhere. I cannot answer that. Nevertheless, the two men were examples of people who didnt waste their time here. They went after their dreams and desires. Waiting until tomorrow was not an option for them. Instead, they took each moment and used it for what they could.

What mark are you making on your life or the world? Do you spend your time wishing your life away in hopes that tomorrow will be better than today? It is ironic that, for the majority of people, tomorrow is a carbon copy of today. In other words, they forgo the present in hopes of a better future only to realize that life does not work that way. Making the most of the here and now is the only way we will ever create a different tomorrow. Jobs and Davis exemplified this.

This is your life. What are you going to do with it? You can choose to waste it or make the most of it. Focusing in a time other than the present is one way to ensure it is wasted. And this is something I hypothesize you do not want. Therefore, resolve to change it now.
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Each Life Is Alternative

We have all heard the term "alternative lifestyle". This is used to denote a way of life that is different from the mainstream. The promoters of dogma insist on classifying living choices that are different in a less than admirable fashion. In this sense, these are degrading the choices most individuals make. Of course, this is all done in an effort to maintain power.

The truth is that each life is alternative. Those who understand this idea are willing to take control of the path they opt to live upon. No two lives are the same simply because no two people are the same. Sadly, individuality is not something that the "powers that be" want. The prefer obedient subjects who conform to their every whim. We see this idea all throughout society.

Therefore, it is up to you to forge your own path. This requires internal research to determine what it is that makes you tick. Few people ever take the time to investigate this aspect of themselves. Instead, they blindly follow the mantra that is presented to them. It is depressing to watch someone adhere to all the precepts which promise happiness only to find they end up completely miserable.

We have only one life to live. There are times when the choices we make will be unpopular. Family and close friends profess to only want what is best for us but will be the worst critics when we exemplify any individuality. It is almost as if their love is conditional....we will love and support you as long as you are doing what we believe is best for you. Step outside that boundary will net you being ostracized.

When we were born, or in our youth, we were not handed a manual for a successful life. The reason is because this publication does not exist. Many will profess to have ideas about what path to take which leads to happiness, but how many can honestly say they are happy in their lives. Financial burdens are at their all time worst. The divorce rate is over 50% and climbing. Children are suffering neglect and abuse at absurd rates. Drinking and drug use is commonplace while being readily accepted by society. In short, people are miserable. The only relief they seem to get is the nightly vegging out in front of the television.

If you aspire to something more, you must be willing to step out of the mainstream path and do what suits you. Naturally, this does not mean you have to become an anarchist or a complete radical (unless you choose to be that). It does, however, mean that you will have to alter your thinking about the way life "should" be lived. Understand that much of what you were taught is a complete lie. It is not the path to success and happiness for many. Instead, misery and malcontent seems to be the norm today.

Designing your life means making your own choices. Few are willing to do this because of the risks I mentioned above. It is difficult to stand on your own and be strong. However, those that can do it find the contentment inside they are seeking. Those who succumb to the pressure of others find they have that nagging voice continually telling them that they settled. Ultimately, this feeds into more misery.

Decide today that you are going to design your life as you see fit. You have only so many hours left on this planet. Use them wisely.
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Exhibiting Courage

Courage is something that we commonly reserve for soldiers, firefighters, and police officers. We often refer to people acting "courageously in the line of duty". These individuals are esteemed because they risk for the benefit of others. This is a class of people who deserve the attention. However, they do not have a monopoly on courage.

Many think courage is the absence of fear. It is not. Mark Twain may have summed it up best when he penned:

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear."

Each of us needs to exhibit courage in our daily lives. Fear is something that affects all of us. However, those who succeed are able to take action in spire of the fear. They exhibit some courage by "doing it anyway". The unsuccessful allow themselves to be paralyzed by fear. Their action is stifled because the fear controls them.

Sadly, courage is something that is rarely talked about in our society. Instead, we are presented with an image that we are weak if we allow fear to enter into our minds. It is a fact that everyone experiences fear. The trick is to realize where it resides. Many think of it as a feeling which it can be since it manifests itself in that way. Nevertheless, it is vital to remember that fear, like everything else, starts in the mind. Our lives are nothing more than mental exercises. Everything we experience first started as a thought.

This insight is helpful in overcoming fear. Courage is something that we create in our minds also. To overcome fear, we simply have to picture the payoff of the action being greater than the expense of succumbing to the fear. For many, this is almost impossible since they are so conditioned to giving into the fear. After years of settling, people begin to rationalize why they cannot take action. These "excuses" serve as justification for continuing along the same path without change. Of course, this is only reinforced by society since fear is used by all promoters of dogma.

Security is an illusion. Many settle for things in their life because they believe in this fallacy. The truth is that nothing is secure in life. Life is a dynamic entity; it is not static. Things change in an instant. People often take things for granted until their world is suddenly cast in a much different light. Look at how lives are altered by car crashes, hurricanes, and disease. These are just a few examples which take security and toss it out the window.

Therefore, we need to look at our fears. Why do we have a fear of financial insecurity? Of public speaking? Of humiliation? Of failure? Of being ostracized by friends or family? Many of these same thoughts pass through the minds of everyone. However, those who are able to overcome these things are the ones who excel. In short, they act courageously in the face of their fears.

Keep these ideas at the forefront of your mind when you start to see yourself succumbing to fear. Naturally, those situations where we are in extreme personal danger are to be avoided and the times when listing to that inner voice is helpful. However, in our daily lives, few of us encounter such extreme decisions. Instead, we face situations where one of the above-mentioned fears (or a host of others) get in the way of our progress in those areas that are important to us. We seek the security that comes from inactivity only to later realize that it does not exist. Ultimately, we always pay the price for listening to our fears.

Courage is required if we are to avoid the state of stagnation. Paralysis from fear is something that comes from repetition. We see this in people who allowed this cancer to control their lives for decades. These same people often completely shut down. They usually are inept at making decisions since that muscle was not exercised. Their rationalization for life is in high gear always justifying the lack of progress. Plus they blame everyone else for their ills. Yet, when a person of this sort looks back over his or her life, the truth is realized. Fear won over and over.

In closing, just remember we all will meet the end someday. Do you want to be one who looks back and notices all the missed opportunities because of the succumbing to fear? Or will you be a person who knows you gave it your best in all situations? The choice comes is yours.

Choose wisely.

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Change

Change is something that always happens in a moment. Unfortunately, it often takes a long time to get to the moment. People will hold onto old behavior until it reaches the point where change must occur. Until this moment arrives, the same pattern follows.

Pain is the most powerful motivator in life. There are two states: pleasure and pain. However, when it comes to altering behavior, pain is the state which will cause one to alter actions. As much as we like to believe we do things for proactive reasons, the truth is that to make it lasting, pain needs to be involved to the nth degree.

Losing weight is a prime example. It is no secret that eating junk food, not exercising, and carrying around rolls of fat will shorten one's life expectancy. The medical community has warned about this for decades. In fact, it is not uncommon to see people working in this field, those who should be in the know, who also fit the mold of obese. Yet, they do nothing about it.

Why is that? The reason is that pleasure, the idea of being healthier, thinner, living longer, is not enough to get one to put down the cookies and go workout. It is only after one gets an "awakening" in the form of pain that he or she will do something about it. Before that, habits simply take over.

So, what is the point of all this? My view is that one can be proactive about change. Most people tend to resist it. Sadly, this is a way to unhappiness since life is not static. The nature of the world we live in is that it changes. Those who attempt to remain the same tend to lose ground. Things move in a forward direction whether we want them to or not. Those who resist this tend to live in unhealthy states. Consider the mother who always picture a child as "her little boy" (or girl). Reality is that kids grow up and holding onto is not a healthy state. Change is inevitable and we either embrace it or get run over by it.

Therefore, we need to embrace the pain that we experience. Why? Because this is the foundation of our ability to change. We can alter what we do in an instance....we just need a powerful enough motivator. Pain offers that.

I see so many who are locked in to their present state without hope of change. The reason I know this is because they have settled. People of this ilk are not even unhappy. They just are listless. It is a state many of us find ourselves in periodically. However, it is crucial that we get out of that. We need to realize that life can offer us a lot. The only factor is that we get unhappy about something. This shows passion and desire. Those who settle lack these important components.

Change is good. It is a result that comes after experiencing frustration, anger, and hurt. It is only after having enough of something that we are willing to do something about it. Ponder the weight loss situation for a moment to get a good visual. Only after having enough, will one get off the sofa and go workout. Proactive reasons aside, vanity or fear are often the motivators in this instance. Nevertheless, it is effective.

Being someone who seeks out change sets one in the minority. To be honest, most get run over by the circumstances in their lives. They resist change until it is too late. Many buy into the saying "you cant teach an old dog new tricks". This is inaccurate. One is never too old to change and no habit to ingrained that it cannot be altered. Sure it takes effort, persistence, and work. But that is what separates those who live a growing, expanding life from those who settle for what is offered. Change and the ability to deal with it are at the core.

All change starts with a decision. It is the mindset that "I am no longer going to accept this in my life" that instigates the process. The choice to lose weight is what precedes the exercising and healthier eating. Everything we decide to do differently is concluded in the mind. After that, action follows.

The biggest obstacle in achieving lasting change is overcoming the old habit while instilling a new one. People tend to live their lives on autopilot. Therefore, the unconscious action will always overcome the conscious one. Why? Because we do not have to think to do things that we do without thinking. Unconscious habits are difficult to break. The key is to break them and make the empowering actions habit. This can take some time. It is at this point that one must be persistent in the endeavor. However, it is the only way to change our lives.
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The Power of The Mind

Reality is created in the mind. This seems like an absurd statement but it is the truth. Everything we see, hear, touch, smell, and taste is filtered through our brains. There, we have a treasure trove of memories which the new sensations are linked up to. Everything we process is done through this central computer.

The bad news is that whatever we "see" in the mind is real. It cannot distinguish between real or imagined. Instead, it sees everything as concrete. This allows a thing called fear to assume control. When we are living in a state of fear, our projections are imprinted upon our minds as real. Even though the situation that we are thinking about is days or weeks away, the mind reads it as true.

None of us have a crystal ball that can forecast what will happen. Therefore, any projections we are engaging upon are simple creations of the mind. This is a powerful mechanism which creates "reality" by sending the sensations throughout our body. How many of us have felt that pit in our stomach when we thought about something that we needed to do in the future. The brain manifested the thoughts in our mind as a real sensation in the body.

So if the mind can create our reality, why do we allow it to establish a negative view of things? Again, this is where fear enters the picture. Fear is a mighty foe that has a way of showing itself in many different forms. At times is dresses up as anger; others as terror; still others as uncertainty; the list goes on and on. In short, we look at a future situation, fear in one form or another, and we suddenly have a negative outlook upon the future event.

Of course, the problem with this approach is that it ruins our present moments. The truth is that there are always things we need to tend to in the future. If we spend all our time focusing upon "what will happen" with a negative viewpoint, we completely miss our lives. Always looking ahead causes us to miss right now. Certainly everyone can identify with thinking about something in the future and completely miss what is being said to you. Our mind wanders off and takes us from "the now".

So what do we do about creating a new reality? The first step is to recognize what is happening. The mind likes to play games with us. Accept this as a reality. Also, consider all the things that you have feared in your life and then question how many of them came true. Sure, we all had bad things happen to us and events turn negative on us. But the consensus seems to be that most of us allow fear to go to the worst case scenario. The reality is that most of what we imagine does not come true. So the best method is to stop doing that to ourselves.

Of course, this is not easy. A lifetime of habits do not cease overnight. However, when one considers the misery that is created by allowing fear in its many forms to control, then one is instantly motivated to take control of this powerful instrument. Projections are real in the mind. Thus, it is our goal to look at each situation as resolving itself in our favor. Next time you project about some future event, imagine what it will be like if everything went exactly how you wanted it. I know at first this will seem almost impossible since we are conditioned to look at everything negatively. But, the reality is that we have no way of knowing how things will turn out. Since our mind is doing the creating, why not erect a positive outcome in our minds.

Our minds like to play tricks on us. You are free to use it however you see fit if you are willing to take control of it. However, since most go with the default negativity, they are at the mercy of this out of control mechanism. Begin today by looking at things in a positive light. It will change your present reality.
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