Sex As A Motivator

Sex is one of the strongest emotions that people have. It makes men do things that are totally self defeating. There are hundreds of examples of powerful men throwing everything away for sex. It is something that has baffled researchers for decades.

Nevertheless, I am not here to figure out the primal urges of man. I simply accept that they exist and work with it. Since we know that the sex desire is so strong, let's use it for our advantage. It is time people start to readily accept this fact to push their life to greater heights.

When you think about it, most of what we do has a sexual thought behind it. Marketers know this well. The old saying "sex sells" holds true year after year. People are continually thinking about what the opposite sex will think. This is something that is conditioned within us even without our knowledge. Most times people are subconscious about it. Nevertheless, it is there.

Consider the concept of luxury automobiles. Why do people spend an amount equal to a decent house for a car? Who are the buyers of vehicles like Corvettes, Jaguar, and Porsche? If we analyze the statistics we understand that most of the buyers are male. And, they buy these cars because of the image it presents. In other words, is it a "chick magnet"? The marketers of these automobiles know this and use it to their advantage. That is why there is always a hot girl in the car ads.

The same holds true for women. Look at how they dress. Women will spend large sums of money making their appearance look top-notch. They are taught to do this to attract the right man. Even though society has changed, these generational ideas of yesteryear still persist. Women take great care to do their hair, make up and to wear the finest clothing. They also work out regularly to keep themselves fit. Basically, they want to maintain the sex appeal.

Our sex desire is powerful. Use it to get yourself motivated to take the action you are putting off. The easiest area to begin is with your body. This is what is judged first. Think of all the sex you will get if you lose the 50 extra pounds you are carrying. Make a game of it. Perhaps use this as a motivational tool with your partner (sexual not business). Offer sex as a reward for activities completed. You will be amazed how the motivation level skyrockets.
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Making The Best Out Of Everything

In life, there are times when situations are less then we desire them to be. Unfortunately, it is also at these times where there is nothing that we can do to alter the reality of life. Therefore, we need to make the best of it. Often, this is as simple as altering our mindset.

I had such a situation this weekend. A few of use were invited to go on a boat to watch the space shuttle take off. There were 6 of us in all, 2 groups of three. We knew the owners of the boat moderately well and figured it would be a wonderful time. Sadly, we were mistaken.

From the outset, it was obvious this was going to be a strained interaction with 2 groups of three. The hosts and their friend proceeded to ignore the rest of us. Their was limited communication with no social skills shown. In short, we were completely ignored. It even got to the point where we asked ourselves, "why were we invited".

Bear in mind this was an overnight trip since the launch was due to go early the next morning. Around midnight, I determined that all was lost from the social standpoint. That is when I decided to make the best of it. We were going to be within a few miles of the launch of the space shuttle, something that few ever experience in life. I thought that if nothing else we could get some incredible pictured which would offset the other experiences.

Notice how I was "trapped" by the situation yet was determined to make the best of it. Since we were on a boat, there was nowhere for me to go. I was physically trapped by the circumstances. The only way I could alter what was transpiring was to focus my attention on producing some "gain" out of it.

This is where another monkey wrench was thrown into the mix. Due to mechanical issues, the shuttle launch was scrapped. There would be no pictures on this day. Witnessing something from a vantage point few get to see went out the window. Now I was 0 for 2 in my experiences.

Again I had to turn to a different outlook. The couple who owned (and ran) the boat were determined to remain on there until mid-afternoon. Thus we would not be returning for another 6 or 7 hours. I had the choice to sulk about the treatment I was receiving and the missed opportunity with the shuttle or to alter my mood. I chose the later.

How many people get to spend the day on a nice boat experiencing the water and sunshine. It is something that people spend thousands of dollars to do when they are visiting here on vacation. And this was costing me nothing. Therefore, I committed to enjoy the day as a tourist would. Swimming, sunbathing, and throwing the football around filled the remaining time on the boat.

In the end, I worked on my tan a bit more while enjoying a relaxing day at sea. It was not the trip I first envisioned when I received the invite during the week. However, it did turn out positive in spite of the setbacks. Would I put myself in the same position in the future? No I would not. I learned a valuable lesson with these people. Nevertheless, since I was in a situation I could not physically change, I made the best of it. Overall, it was a positive experience because of my mindset.

Try this the next time you find yourself "cornered" in life. You will be amazed how you can turn a negative situation into something positive. This will automatically raise up the quality of your life. Less negativity means more positivity.
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There Are Only Two Choices

In the world of motivation, there are only two choices you have: success or excuses. There is nothing else. Either something is achieved or there are excuses offered as to why it was not completed. It is that simple. Do not complicate things by looking for tremendous alibis. You either do it or you do not.

The idea behind this philosophy is something called 'personal responsibility'. This is something that is missing in today's culture. People want to blame the economy, Congress, their mother, or a litany of other things for their plight in life. The truth is we all create our own destiny. If you are experiencing a lack of success, ask yourself why that is. Consider the excuses that you offer up as reasons for not doing something. This will enlighten you as to how easy you are on yourself.

People let themselves off the hook. Now, we have a culture which seems to tolerate that same mindset. Successful people achieve great heights because they hold themselves to a higher level. They do not allows themselves the luxury of making excuses.

Success is often the result of persistence. Rarely is success achieved in the first attempt. Many have to try things multiple times to get it right. The reason is that each 'failure' offers a lesson. Successful people learn the lesson while moving forward.

Contrast that with someone who is not successful. They usually quit at the first obstacle. Then, they offer up all the excuses as to why they didn't succeed. Of course, rarely do they point the finger at themselves. The excuses offer show who they are blaming. Others are responsible for their situation.

This is a surefire path to failure. Remember, there is success and there are excuses. If you have not experienced success up to this moment, keep going. Learn the lessons life is offering so as to do better in the future. There is nothing that will prevent you from achieving if you are persistent, take responsibility, and hold yourself accountable. This is what the high achievers do.
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Managing Expectations

Did you ever heave your heart set on getting a particular gift for Christmas as a child only to be disappointed on the big day? If you are a normal human, you did. We all suffered this fate at least once in our life. Sadly, even if we got everything else that we wanted, we focused on the missing toy. This ruined the entire event for us.

Looking back over these times, what was the cause of our disappointment? Obviously, most people would respond by saying that their parents destroyed Christmas by not getting them what they wanted. This is a blamer mentality. It is also one that leads to lifelong misery since this habit is ingrained deeply.

The truth is that what was received for Christmas is irrelevant. When we experience disappointment in situations such as these, it is because we fail to manage our expectations. When our expectations are set too high, the natural result is disappointment. Therefore, the key to happiness is to lower our expectations.

This concept applies equally to situations, people, and companies. When we expect too much from another person, as an example, we are let down because they suffer from the disease called humanness. People will fail periodically. When they do, if we place too much on them, we will suffer ill emotional consequences.

Managing expectations is at the core of most spiritual disciplines. When we expect too much, we fail to be grateful for what we receive. At the same time, we tend to concentrate upon that which is missing instead of what is there. For example, how often do you expect to attend a fabulous party only to be let down when it isnt the blowout you pictured in your mind. The expectation created the dissatisfaction, not the party.

If you expect nothing, you cannot be disappointed. The happiest people in the world have the ability to "go with the flow". They do not get upset when things go other than planned. They remain emotionally flexible appreciating each moment. This is a recipe for happiness and peace.

Today, as you progress through your day, witness how your expectations impact your emotional state. Are there times where you get upset when things dont happen as you wish. Are you expecting too much of another (or yourself) which causes you unhappiness? How much happier would your day be if you simply accepted things as they occurred without a thought of how things should be? Witness your thoughts in this area for a few days while trying to cancel out some of your expectations. You will be a happier person.
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The Opinion of Others

In each Presidential election, there are roughly 90 million people who vote. Even if the winner is clearly decisive, the number of people voting against that person is above 40 million. Certainly that is a lot of people who want him or her to go away. I would imagine that one could get a bit self conscious with so many people having a negative opinion. Of course, politics, especially Presidential, is not for the thin-skinned. There are lots of ill-meaning individuals who will say anything to get under another's skin.

I experience this to a lesser degree myself. There are many instances where people write (or say) things that are negative about me or my work. This can be a real blow to the esteem if I allow it. However, I realized long ago the opinion of others matters little to me. This is how I can survive in an environment like this.

The Internet gives everyone a forum to voice their opinions. Oftentimes, people are unflattering without merit. Unlike true journalism, the facts and truth matter little. People have the ability to state whatever they want without recourse. This too is an arena for those with thick skin.

Why do I bring this all up? The message I want to deliver is that the opinions of most people matters little. There is a saying that "nobody ever erected a statue for a critic". And it is real easy to be find a critic. It seems that everybody today feels qualified to comment on any situation. Again, the Internet provides the forum for that to occur.

We all have people who are important to us: friends, family, etc... These are the ones who are closest to us and who's opinions should matter. Sadly, there are many screwed up families out there. That is why it is best to practice not placing high value on the opinions of others. The only opinion that is important is what you believe about yourself. This is the one outlook we all need to take to heart.

Esteem is something that comes from within. Our worth is derived from ourselves (and whatever your belief is about spiritual matters). We do not get our value from others. Those who look for that from those around him or her are destined to be miserable. People in the world have an agenda. Unfortunately, most would rather tear another down as opposed to lifting themselves up. This is an easier course to follow.

At the end of the day, you are the one who needs to be happy with you. Each of us has incredible talent. At the same time, we are all capable of providing something wonderful to this world. Those who spend their time seeking this outlet find they have little time to worry about opinions of others. Those who are busy doing are too busy to read the viewpoints of the critics. Of course, the critics have the time to create their viewpoints since they fail to take any meaningful action in their lives.

Be mindful of this idea the next time someone says something unkind about you. I remember what a spiritual teacher of mine once said "other's opinions of me is none of my business".
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