3/25/2009

Line In The Sand


Is it time to draw the "line in the sand" with your life? We have spoke the last few days about beliefs and determining what is acceptable to us. Now it the time where we say "no more".

I was heard a gentleman share that to change we all need to get 100% of our own pain. He is an advocate that pain is the primary motivator in people's lives. I, too, found this to be true. People will do more to avoid pain then they will do for pleasure. It seems to be part of human nature.

Drawing the line in the sand means that you got to the point where what is happening is no longer acceptable to you. This happened to Rosa Parks on a bus one day. She got to the point where she said "no more". It was this event which is considered one of the major events of the civil rights movement.

What is your moment? Have you reached it yet? Most seem dissatisfied with their lives yet are still unwilling to change it. The time for change is now. Are you ready?

This process involves setting up rules for yourself which are non-negotiable. They are chosen consciously by you based upon your internal happiness. This is the time to ignore social conditioning. This is your life we are talking about.

Rules, when adhered to, are absolutes. For this to be effective, you must be strong with yourself and others. Going back on your rules will only allow for abuse. This is counterproductive.

For example, I do not allow people to waste my time unnecessarily. If you agree to meet at a certain hour, you better be there. This is one of my rules. People who are proverbially late are disrespectful in my opinion. I choose not to interact with people like that. This is one of my rules and it cost some potentially wonderful friendships. Or, perhaps, it did not. Nevertheless, people who behave in this manner are not in my life. It is a line in the sand I choose not to cross.

The reverse of this is for a person who is behaving like this to establish the rule for him or herself to always be on time. Not allowing oneself to be late is a rule that many have. They will not break this regardless of what happens. Every measure is taken to ensure they arrive in a timely manner.

Rules allow us to shape the behaviors of all around us. People often mistreat us. However, there is a saying which says "we taught everyone around us how to treat us". This is an accurate statement. If you have a friend who is always late, you tolerate that behavior. Instead, if you instilled an ultimatum the first time it happened, that person's behavior might be different. Yet, when you allow it, you condone it.

So, determine what is no longer acceptable to you. Reach that point of 100% pain which is necessary to make wholesale changes. You can begin with only a few things or you can create a major list. The important factor is to get started making some changes today. Your future success depends upon it.
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